


Panophobia

by vagrantBreath



Series: Shattered [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Culture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Panic Attacks, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, So Keith is 100 percent human, Vomiting, Worldbuilding, written pre-season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Zarkon's reach runs far and wide.Keith finds people fighting against that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Let's do this.

American currency actually went for a lot more than Keith thought. With the right collector, he managed to sell all the cash he had on him for what appeared to be quite a bit. It wasn’t like he was going to need it, anyway. He didn’t know how to get back to Earth. And if he did, Earth was too far away for it to count. He needed money now. He was hungry and he wasn't about to steal.

Though, even if he didn’t know exactly how much he had gotten, he knew it wouldn’t last him too long. Not here. Food was expensive here, and while he had found a place to hide Red so he could sneak back to her and sleep in her, thereby taking out the shelter expense, he was still spending more than he wanted to. He sighed, looking away from a curious glance. At least he hadn’t left in his Paladin uniform. His jacket drew enough attention as it was, and he knew looking somewhat Altean didn’t help either. Hopefully no one would mistake him for having Altean blood. He was from Earth. They never made it that far. At least, he didn't think they did.

But right now... Keith tried to duck his head. He hated people looking at him like that. Like... like back then. Something to put on display.

A shiver ran down his spine at the memory. Sitting there, a hand possessively in his hair-

Keith gasped. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there!

A scaly lady next to him sidled away, her four eyes wide under an iridescent membrane. He didn’t even say anything to her, just turned away and started to walk away. Damn it. Was this the kind of thing Shiro had been going through since they rescued him? The flashes of memory coming back, making him think he was still back there? Keith rubbed his arms as he pushed through the crowd, trying to blend in a little. Of all the things to get out here, he should have expected PTSD to be one of them. They were fighting a war. All of the Paladins would have it at some point. Watching people die, the others get hurt, getting hurt themselves... But he never expected it to be because of-

Of-

A _hand_ in his hair.

Of people _looking_ at him.

Of-

Keith stumbled up against the nearby wall, his heart pounding. He wasn’t there. Zarkon wasn’t about to come out of a corner and force him to his knees. He wasn’t going to... to let it happen, because he was a pet and his consent didn’t matter. Zornia-

He had to get off the streets.

That was the only thought in his head as he staggered and stumbled. He had to get off the streets. Go. Get away from people. He had to-

Before the memory of that gasp, that thud-

Keith managed to stumble into an alley before falling down. Everything he had done... everything... and his actions, his... Zornia...

All he could hear for a long time were his shuddering breaths.

  


* * *

  


The good thing about having a Lion to sleep in was if he had a nightmare and woke up screaming, he didn’t wake anyone else up.

Keith sighed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Damn it. That had been... intense. He couldn’t even really remember what it had been about anymore. Not that he couldn’t _guess_ it was about his time with Zarkon or how he got Zornia killed.

Or maybe some time after. His sleeping mind did like twisting how the Paladins tried to help him. Especially Lance. He knew, while awake, that Lance wanted to help him. That he wanted to help someone that had been in a position he had been in in the past. But sometimes his sleeping mind remembered the scars Lance had gotten from his abuser, and his mind put himself in that position-

Keith inhaled sharply, rubbing his forearms, reminding himself they were free of the cacophony of scars Lance held. He hadn’t been in that position. Zarkon had... just ordered his death when he went back. He didn’t try to torture him, or punish him in any way. Just... tried to kill him for being a bad pet.

Fuck.

He had been such an idiot. He should have known that Zarkon would do something like that to him. That being a pet was... wasn’t going to be that easy. He should have fucking guessed that he was going to end up the way he did, practically licking Zarkon’s boots.

... no, there was a time he actually did that. Some time after he gave in and told himself his consent didn’t matter. He let Zarkon tell him to clean his boots with his tongue. And he did it.

Keith shuddered.

Fucking hell. It hadn’t even been at that time that he had been doing it to survive. He had told himself he wasn’t worth anything, that he was a pet, so he should do as Zarkon said.

It was amazing that they had been able to make him realize Zarkon was full of shit, Keith realized. Even if they couldn’t dispel the distrust of Allura. The sheer fact that they made him realize Zarkon had lied to him was astounding. And the fact he still didn’t fall back into that thought, still didn’t think if he went back now, became the perfect pet again that Zarkon would take him back...

Not that it hadn’t crossed his mind a few times. The reason Zornia had been killed was because he had defied Zarkon. If he went back... and didn’t disobey this time... but no, he wasn’t a pet anymore. And it didn’t make Zornia any less dead.

He just... needed some time first. Needed some time away from anything Zarkon related. Keith ran a hand over the floor of Red’s cockpit, sighing. At least Red got it. She had let him go, taking her with him. She understood what happened to him.

Keith closed his eyes, settling back onto the floor to try to sleep more.

  


* * *

  


There was fabric wrapped around Red’s leg when he woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone had found Red.

Someone had left him a present, letting him know they had found Red.

Keith cursed under his breath as he flew, hands tight on the control sticks. He had been so stupid, going back to her at night. Of course he would lead whatever wanted to find any Paladin right back to Red. Damn it. He had been lucky that no one had tried to get in. Or maybe they had. Maybe they had, and Red had stopped them.

Then why leave the fabric? Keith didn’t look beside him, at the length of purple fabric. It had flowed like nothing he had known before when he loosened it. If he didn’t know any better, he would have said it was expensive. So maybe whoever he had gotten the attention of had money. Which was bad. People with money wanted to keep money. And they would do things to keep money.

It might have been a warning.

For what, he didn’t know.

It didn’t matter. He just had to run now. Get away. Go somewhere else. A thought occurred to him - Voltron. They had to be hurting by now, not being able to form Voltron. But he knew they went quiet for weeks at a time, and there was no way of knowing where they would be. Red wasn’t saying anything, anyway. And he still didn’t know if he could trust Allura. And he could just go back to Zarkon-

Keith shook his head.

He wasn’t a pet. He would never return to Zarkon.

So it was time to move onto the next planet. It was strange... he knew the Galra Empire was here, in this airspace, but... yes, Red warned him when he was going to get too close, but that wasn’t as often as he expected. Maybe these areas weren’t really of strategic value? They just needed enough soldiers around to let them know not to step out of line?

Whatever it was, life... seemed to be business as normal out here. Maybe a little more depressed than he liked, and things were a little harder to come by, but he didn’t know if that was because of the Galra, or the planet itself. The last planet he was on just could have had a crappy economy.

Whatever the answer... it was a little odd out here. But he’d take it. Just stay away from the Galra as long as he could.

Images flashed up on a display, and Keith looked over. A new planet, just ahead. It would take probably a few hours to get there. He wouldn’t be able to scan further and see if there was intelligent life until he was closer, but there weren’t any Galra ships nearby. Good.

Keith sighed, leaning back. He could stay here for a little bit. Just... rest.

  


* * *

  


It was probably a coincidence, but the planet he ended up at wanted everyone to have their heads covered. Maybe a confidentiality thing, since he did see some back alley deals going on. So it was a stroke of luck that he had that fabric. It had been quite long since it had been wrapped around Red’s leg, and if he tied it just right, he could cover his face and hair. It took him a few hours the first time to get it right so it didn’t move, though.

But now he was down in the marketplace, cursing under his breath. He was tired of fruits and vegetables. He wanted _meat._ Of all the things to miss about being Zarkon’s pet, it would be the daily meals of meat. But he wasn’t his pet, and this is what he was given.

The seller blinked lazily. “You see not what you want, yes?” it hissed at him, forked tongue sliding out between fat lips. “Right price, and you see what you want.”

Keith shook his head. He knew he didn’t have that kind of money. The currency he had from the last planet didn’t exchange for a lot here.

The seller didn’t even move. “Just few ullian,” it pled. “Then you see pleth. Oolian. Maybe even the meat of a hyyan.”

The last one caught his attention. “Meat?”

”Hiding it from the Galra. They take all meat.” Here, the seller leaned forward. “None for children. None for adults. They don’t pay. But you. You pay, you have.”

Keith swallowed. He did want the meat. He missed it. But... he suddenly realized he didn’t hear the sound of children playing. Every market he had been in, there had been children underfoot. The sellers here, unless they were non-native, were sluggish. Dazed. Speaking in chopped sentences that he was certain wasn’t typical of their race.

He couldn’t take the meat.

”No,” he said, his voice quiet as he moved on.

The seller didn’t even try to stop him.

  


* * *

  


When he woke up in his hotel room, there was a thin piece of purple fabric tied around the doorknob.

The inside of the door.

And his door was still locked.

Keith swore, throwing everything he could fit into the pack he had bought and messily tying the fabric around his head. As long as his hair and lower face were covered, he didn’t care. Someone had broken in. And he needed to _leave._ To _go._

Quickly, he rushed out of his room and started down the stairs, only to hear voices. And by the sound, some of them were Galra. Slowly, he turned and went back up, looking around. Where could he- there. A window. He opened it, throwing his pack out first and pulling himself out next. Once he was out, he ran. Red was hidden about a day’s trek from the town. If he got started now, he could make it.

He needed to go.

But as soon as he thought that, he had to stop running, throwing himself into a nearby alley. Galra marched past, not even looking over.

What had caused the Galra presence to increase here? What was going on?

He needed to go. Keith swallowed, taking a deep breath, and ran.

  


* * *

  


Keep going. Away from the Galra.

Keith found himself shaking as he reached Red. Just the sight of them again... this wasn’t good. He already knew he wasn’t the Red Paladin anymore, but if he wanted to be again, he needed to be able to face them. Not to be afraid of them, not to think they were going to take him back to Zarkon to be killed or worse-

His hands slammed against Red’s jaw. “Let me in,” he whispered.

She opened her mouth obediently, and he rushed in, sitting down. They needed to go.

They needed to _go._

But Red flashed up some images and- Keith started swearing.

Galra were all over the airspace around the planet. They couldn’t go. Not without being captured or killed. Not alone.

”Damn it,” Keith whispered, curling up. “Damn...”

He was going to be taken back. He was going to be taken back to Zarkon, put back into pet clothing, forced to be given up his consent to become a plaything...

The thoughts circled in his head as he curled up in his seat, breathing far too fast.

He was going to be taken back...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be busy today, so here. Chapter.

The only choice was he had to stay here. He had to stay on the planet, in Red. But the first problem with that reared its ugly head immediately the next morning as his stomach growled and he left, trying to find food.

He had known what was safe for human consumption in the marketplace thanks to a device Allura had given them and all of them kept in their Lions. But around him... none of the fauna around Red was safe. Everything that the market held had been imported. That, or grown close to the town. Which meant if he wanted to eat, he would have to return.

No. He couldn’t. The Galra would know. And they would return him to Zarkon. He couldn’t. He just... couldn’t.

But in the end, he had to. He knew it. He would have to leave Red behind and go back. He needed food. Swallowing, Keith tied the fabric back around his head and made the trek back to town. He could avoid Galra while he was there. Just load up on food and run back to Red until they were gone. They couldn’t stay for long. The Galra had to leave soon. It couldn’t be that important to stay here.

When he finally got within sight, he saw the Galra marching along, bareheaded. Of course they would. Why would they care about the customs of a race? They would just do what they wanted. But if Keith just... stayed with his head covered, they wouldn’t know. Right? And he would... he would...

He needed to calm down. He would be okay.

Return to that seller. Buy as much as he could hold. He could do this. Keith nodded to himself, making his way to the busy marketplace. There were more Galra than he wanted, than he was comfortable with. But if he was careful, he could escape their notice. He could just... make it so they didn’t see him. They didn’t need to know Zarkon’s pet was here. That... that...

Keith shuddered.

Get food. Get out.

He could do this.

As he came closer to the seller’s booth, his eyes widened, and he turned to pick up a random object from other’s. The Galra were talking to the seller. He could see one of them shoving it. And then a knife came out, digging into its skin as they raided its wares-

They were looking for the meat. They knew it had meat.

Keith struggled to keep from vomiting as they took a slab of meat, wrapped in a bright blue paper. They continued looking, pulling out various fruits and vegetables it wasn’t already showing, and more meat... he had to go. He couldn’t stay here. Keith practically threw the thing he was looking at down, hearing the seller mutter to itself as he ran. They would see him next if he stayed.

He couldn’t stay. He couldn’t.

Suddenly, he felt a jerk. Something yanked at his belt. Then something pulled free as he looked down, and saw a clawed hand pulling something away. Pulling away-

Keith swiped, trying to stop the thief. That belt purse held his money! He had just gotten it after his wallet had nearly been taken by a curious collector that couldn’t wait. But he was just a second too slow, and he could see a purple streak weave through the crowd. Keith grit his teeth and followed. He didn’t have a lot of money, but damn it, every little bit counted. He needed it back!

The thief dodged and weaved through the crowd, just ahead of him. It ducked under arms, taking advantage of its little height. Keith pushed through, trying to keep up. He had to get his money back. It would pay for his food so he could stay away from the Galra. So he could- stay safe-

He could see the thief ducking into an alley. Damn it. If he didn’t move faster, he wouldn’t be able to catch it. Keith pushed harder through the crowd, skidding into the alley-

Only to see his belt purse sitting there in the middle of the alley, tied with the purple fabric.

The thief was bolting over a wall. He could see a curled furry tail as it went, the burnt orange stark against the dark purple.

Keith opened his mouth, to yell at the thief, when he heard boots behind him. Without thinking, he followed, boosting himself over the wall. He landed just in time, hearing Galra voices muttering as he rolled to his feet. Everything told him to run- run away- run-

A flash of purple fabric caught his attention. Ahead of him. Keith started running after it, just knowing at least it was away from the Galra. Away from this. He just needed to be- safe-

The thief lead him through back alleys and empty streets this time. A thought occurred to him that it was staying just in his sight, just slow enough for him to follow, but he ignored it. The thief was leading him away from the Galra, that much he knew. He just needed to keep going. Keep going. Keep running from the Galra.

Down one alley-

And Keith skidded to a stop.

The thief was sitting on top of some boxes, back on its haunches, head uncovered. Burnt orange fur covered it- no, her. The features on her face were distinctively feminine, if canine. Overall, she looked... canine. Like a Shiba Inu, in a way, if a Shiba Inu had almost Galra-like ears and slightly human-like features.

Instantly, Keith found himself reaching for his Bayard.

”I’m not going to hurt you.” Her voice was growling, deep and rumbling. “I need to talk to you.”

”So you stole my money?” he snapped back at her.

”I needed some way to force you to leave the marketplace. The Galra were starting to notice you. I needed you to leave.”

How she phrased that made his eyes narrow. “You needed me to leave.”

”Yes. We all needed you to leave, Red Paladin.” Here, she leaned forward as Keith’s heart pounded. “We all needed you to live, if you’re going to help us.”

”And why would I help you?” Oh God. If she knew he had been the Red Paladin, then the Galra-

”Because we need Voltron. We need to be free from Galra rule.” Her black eyes were intense as she stared into his. “We, the resistance, need you, Red Paladin, and we were not about to let you die at the hands of the Galra here or anywhere.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dogs walking on two legs was just... eerie. It didn’t matter if they had a slightly humanish face and opposable thumbs. Watching this Shiba Inu-like alien, her head covered again, walk awkwardly on two legs ahead of him was not right.

But it became obvious why when she came up to a door, swiping her hand across the knob to open it, revealing a sparsely filled bar. She would need her hands- paws? Something like that. But she still didn’t drop to all fours, making her way to a table with that awkward walk before sitting herself down on the floor. Keith carefully took the chair, watching her. “So,” he started, breaking off when her head shook.

”You don’t know anything about politeness, do you?” She raised one- yes, the way everything articulated, that should be a hand- and caught the attention of the person at the bar. Two fingers came up, and the one at the bar nodded. “Drink first. Then we’ll talk.”

”I would rather talk first,” Keith told her, heatedly. “What’s going on? Who are you?”

She held up a finger. “Drink first. Ah.” A huge grin crossed her face, a pink tongue peeking out between her lips as two frothy drinks were placed in front them, the one one the floor spilling slightly. “There we go. Okay.” She picked hers up and took a sip, nodding to his. “Drink.”

Keith eyed it, distrustful.

With a sigh, she leaned forward. “Blend in. At least put it to your lips.”

Put it- Carefully, Keith put the glass to his lips, not letting any liquid into his mouth. She grinned, taking another sip of her own glass. If he looked closely, he could see her tongue lapping liquid into her mouth.

”My name is Cáit. I am a runner for the resistance for the last two planets you’ve been visiting.” Cáit lapped at more of the liquid, then licked her lips clean. “I take information, goods, you name it. And because of that, I knew who you were as soon as I saw you. Everyone in the resistance has a full description of you five after your run in with... Rolo and Nyma?”

Keith nodded, his fingers tightening on his glass.

”It scared us when our Galra informant told us one of you was in the Emperor’s court... and seemed to be there of free choice. Do you know anything of this?”

His hands were shaking, liquid sloshing over the rim and soaking his hands.

”I see.” Cáit put her glass down. “Then our informant was correct.”

”D-don’t,” he whispered. “I’m not- I’m not his pet.”

Cáit didn’t answer that. Instead, she studied him, her head tilted slightly. Keith fought the urge to shrink, and swallowed, meeting her curious stare with his own glare. She only continued to study him, taking him in.

”Why aren’t you with the rest of them?”

Keith jumped at her question. He wasn’t actually expecting- and for a terrifying moment, he thought she was asking why he wasn’t with the Galra- But no, it had to be Voltron. She had to be asking about that.

”I can’t trust them,” he told her quietly. “While I was... I don’t believe him anymore. But he said things I can’t just ignore. I can’t trust them until I see what’s really going on.”

Cáit didn’t answer again.

Then, abruptly, she stood on all fours. Keith’s heart picked up at that, his hand straying to his bayard. What was she... was she...

”If you help me with something, I can get you food,” she told him. “I’ll pay you in advance.”

Food? Keith swallowed. “What is it?”

”I’ll tell you after I pay you. You eat meat, right? I’ll pay you tomorrow.”

Pay in advance... “Not until you tell me what you want from me.”

A wolfish smile crossed her face. “You’re going to help me fight back.”

  


* * *

  


She didn’t lie. She got him meat. A _lot_ of meat.

”Did you steal to get this?” Keith asked her quietly, tucking the bag away.

Cáit shrugged. “Just Galra. Go put that somewhere safe and meet me back here. I’m going to need your help.”

”You still haven’t told me with what.”

She nodded at a building. “Prisoners are detained there before ships arrive and take them off to be slaves. There’s some room between when the ships arrive and when the prisoners are transferred. I believe this is the last day they’ll be there before the transfers go through. I have an informant in there with some important data.” Cáit looked at him. “I need a reason to get in there. Once in, I can get to him. But I need a reason to get in.”

Keith stared at the building. He wanted to go in there, start slicing at anything that looked at him funny, but- “It would take all five of us to storm a building like that.”

”I’ll think of something. Go hide that.”

He grumbled, making his way back to Red. If anything, she hadn’t lied to him yet. As far as he could tell, anyway. If she had been the one leaving fabric, they may have easily saved his life, forcing him to flee right before Galra came. But there was just something... not right about her. Something he just couldn’t like. He tucked the meat away in a corner of Red, hoping it would be cool enough there not to rot. Maybe Red had a freezer or something. He’d ask when he was done helping Cáit with her thing.

Red grumbled a little as he left, growling in warning. He turned, placing a hand on her jaw. “I know. But she got me the meat. I’ll be right back.” He patted her and made his way back to the town, making sure his fabric was still around his head safely. Cáit hadn’t moved, was still staring at the building. “Okay,” he said, coming up beside her. “What’d you think of?”

She tilted her head, looking at him. Her eyes swept up and down him and Keith found himself flushing. Yes, his time as a pet had cost him some muscle, and he hadn’t exactly had time to work out after, but that didn’t mean-

Cáit moved suddenly, pulling a baton out from under her cloak. Before he could even raise a hand, she struck, the baton smacking him in the head. He stumbled, and she smacked him again, making him fall to one knee.

Then she grabbed him, yanking him along. He tried to get his legs under him, but it wasn’t working. She- he couldn’t- and then she came to a sudden stop, making him stumble into her.

”I hear there’s a reward for the return of Zarkon’s pet.” A hand gripped the fabric around him, yanking it off.

”I want my reward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... she _had_ been friendly...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a flashback in this chapter so... proceed with caution.

Struggling didn’t help. He was still stunned from Cáit’s blows. That meant when the Galra seized him, Keith could barely start to twist before he was on his knees, his arms were bent behind him and cuffed together.

”I get my reward, right?” he could hear Cáit say over and over, her voice strident and annoyed. “Where’s my reward?” But her voice grew further and further away, and Keith dimly realized he was forced up on his feet. He was moving... inside. Into the building.

He was going back to Zarkon.

”Nng-” Keith tried to lock his legs, to keep from moving, but the Galra just laughed, dragging him forward. He couldn’t- he tried to wrench himself free, but his head was still swimming, he couldn’t think-

And there was a clawed hand in his hair, gripping hard, too familiar-

  


* * *

  


Meetings were so boring. He understood why Zarkon asked him to sit in. He was Zarkon’s pet. As a pet, he had to be with him in the public view. But it didn’t make any of this less boring. Or painful, as his ass was already starting to hurt from sitting on the ground for so long. But... Keith pressed his face up against Zarkon’s leg, watching the crowd dispassionately, one hand resting on his bayard. Zarkon’s hand stroked over his hair, letting everyone know whose pet he was.

None of the Galra showed distaste for this. Not anymore. Keith had lost track of how long it had been since he became Zarkon’s pet, since the others left him for dead. But he belonged here. He belonged here with Zarkon, with... Keith let his eyes wander, seeing Zornia standing against a wall, her head bowed. Yes, he belonged here.

He closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him. The meeting didn’t matter to him. He was there as a status symbol. That was all. It didn’t matter what else happened. This was his life now. He wasn’t the Red Paladin anymore.

The hand in his hair tightened and he winced. Zarkon must be unhappy. The thought made his heart race and his hands clench. Unhappy... that never bode well for Keith. Zarkon never hurt him, not... not unless he didn’t give perfect obedience. And sometimes he couldn’t. He tried, but he just couldn’t. But if he did, Zarkon wouldn’t hurt him, just like he told him. But he would... ask.

Keith swallowed.

He didn’t know if he could do it tonight. Zarkon had asked him so recently, and he didn’t know if he had recovered enough to properly serve him- no. Zarkon asked for perfect obedience. He would give it.

Keith opened his eyes again, looking over at Zornia. She’d take care of him after. She always did.

The meeting came to an end, and the Galra filtered out. Servants remained, and Zornia came forward to take Keith back. He stood, grateful. It always hurt sitting on the floor for that long.

”No.”

Zarkon’s voice took him by as much surprise as the sudden seizing and jerking of his leash. Keith fell, landing on his hands and knees. Lance would laugh at this- no. He would kill Lance if he ever saw him. Lance wouldn’t ever have the chance to laugh.

He heard movement above him, a zipper, and Keith froze. Here? Now? He couldn’t look over at Zornia, but... in front of her?

”Pet?” Zarkon’s voice held a warning note as he yanked on the leash again, forcing Keith’s head up.

Obediently, Keith raised himself up to his knees, reaching up to pull Zarkon’s cock out. He was soft still, good. That meant he could fit him in his mouth. He leaned forward, taking him into his mouth and sucking softly, licking across the soft skin of the head before opening as wide as he could and diving down. He had gotten better at this, at having that flesh dive into his throat. Though, it rapidly grew hard, and he had to pull off, replacing his mouth with his hand.

Zarkon didn’t make a noise, but only stroked his hair.

It was a relief when Zarkon finally released into his hand, soaking it. Reflexively, Keith started lapping at his hand, cleaning it up. That was what a pet did. It cleaned itself.

”Good,” he heard Zarkon say above him. “Servant. Bring him to my room later tonight.”

  


* * *

  


Keith came back to himself with a sudden gasp. He was laying on... the floor. Hands... behind him. Slowly, he sat up, blinking. There was fabric around him. Purple. Like a cape. He was in a small room with a door...

His eyes opened wide as his head cleared.

He was in a Galra holding cell.

Cáit had betrayed him. She betrayed the resistance- if she ever was resistance. Damn it. Why had he trusted anyone? He should have braved the skies and left. Keith flexed his arms, grunting when the cuffs didn’t give.

He was going back to Zarkon.

Zarkon was going to kill him. Or worse, retrain him. Make him a pet again.

He couldn’t allow that. He had to escape. Or... or die trying.

He couldn’t go back.

Keith closed his eyes tightly. He couldn’t go back. And he couldn’t die. He had to... he had to stay alive. Not Zarkon’s pet. He wasn’t Zarkon’s pet!

He could do this.

Dimly, he could hear someone yelling, annoyed. Then the sound of a struggle. Keith looked up, almost hopeful. Had the others heard? He would... he would go back to Allura right now. He was so sorry...

But there was nothing else. Only a clicking noise, then the sound of something being unlocked. Someone talking. Someone running. Then nothing.

No one came for him.

He had been abandoned again.

Keith closed his eyes tightly.

”Stop looking so sad and listen to me. We have only a few ticks to get out of here, Paladin, and you have to run for all of them.”

Keith opened his eyes, dazed as he saw Cáit slam something down on the device next to him. “Get up,” she told him. “And get ready to run.”

And the door opened.


	6. Chapter 6

For a moment, Keith didn’t know what to do. What was going on?

But if he needed to run, he could do that.

He tucked his legs under him and stood, rushing for the door. Behind him, he could hear clicking of... claws? Was that sound the clicking of Cáit’s claws? But he could hear the rapid clicking behind him as he rushed out. It was awkward, hands cuffed behind his back, but he managed. He could do this. He-

There were dead Galra.

Keith nearly came to a stop, only to feel someone nudging the back of his thigh. “Keep running!” he heard Cáit say before he picked up the pace again, hands clenched.

Keep running.

He could do that.

He wouldn’t be able to fight back like this. He would- his bayard! They took his bayard! He needed that! Keith started to skid to a stop, to turn and get it back, only to feel teeth in his cape. He looked down, seeing Cáit on all fours, gripping the fabric tightly with her jaws.

”Whatever you need, I have it,” Cáit said around the fabric in her teeth. “Keep going!”

”My bayard-”

”I have it. Go!”

Keith opened his mouth, then grit his teeth and continued running. He would have to keep running. They would find out she had rescued him soon enough and be after them. Go. Get out of there. He didn’t- he couldn’t go back, he couldn’t be caught again, he couldn’t be a Galra plaything again-

Run.

Once well outside the town walls, he had to pause. Too off balance like this. He needed- Keith grunted, shifting. He needed to either break the cuffs or move them to his front. This wasn’t going to work.

He could hear Cáit come up, and reach for something under her cape. Then she tapped the cuffs a few times with it, growling. “This should have worked the first time,” she said as they finally fell away. “Come on. Where’s your Lion?”

”What the hell?!” Keith turned to her, gaping. “Do you really think you’re coming with me or something?”

Cáit didn’t even have time to answer before they heard the sound of Galra boots. “Do you want your weapon back?” she asked, gruffly. At his furious nod, she narrowed her eyes. “Then we go to your Lion and get out of here.”

A part of him wanted to deck her in the face and pat her down for it. She was tiny. He could do it. But the sound of Galra coming close made him turn, knowing she won this one. They needed to go. If she wouldn’t give him his bayard back- not to mention the sheer fact how he reacted around Galra now - then they needed to run.

So they ran. And ran. And when they reached Red, she opened obediently, letting the two of them in. Cáit scrambled onto the floor, curling up as Keith strapped himself in. “There should be an asteroid belt nearby,” she told him as they lifted off, instantly going straight for the sky. “Head for that. How fast if your Lion?”

”Fast enough,” Keith told her shortly.

”Hm.” He hated that sound now. “Lose our tail in the asteroids. If this thing is fast enough.”

That was enough to spark his pride. Of course Red was fast enough. He would prove that to her right now as they broke free of the atmosphere and- oh, that was a lot of fighters patrolling the area. Keith’s hands moved to pull up his weapons, to engage them.

”Run.”

”Fuck off,” Keith growled. They were in Red. This was _his_ domain.

”You don’t have the rest of Voltron. Run, idiot. Trust me, the asteroids will hide you.”

Keith’s hands tightened on the control sticks. Cáit was right. He was alone, and if he was lucky, he would only be killed. Instead, he scanned through the fighters as he started to dodge, trying to see the best way out. If he just- His hands pulled up the weapons, shooting a blast at a nearby fighters. “If I’m going to run, I’m blasting a way out,” he told her when she made a warning noise.

”Hmmph.”

With a few more shots, he managed to break free, scanning for that asteroid belt. It wasn’t far, and he was headed straight for it. If he just kept going at this speed- “C’mon Red,” he whispered under his breath. “You can do it.”

They entered the field. Keith swore immediately, dodging. There was more debris and rocks than he expected. “C’mon, c’mon,” he chanted under his breath, pressing forward. “C’mon...”

He could hear explosions behind him, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t look. Just keep going. Just keep-

They broke free.

And no one was pursuing.

Keith sighed, leaning back. Red kept drifting forward - by this point, she had taken to always moving forward. But they had done it. They got out of there.

His bayard suddenly filled his field of view. Keith grabbed it, unbuckling himself to stand and turn to Cáit. “What the fuck was that all about?”

”You’ll have to be specific, Paladin.”

He grit his teeth. “How about,” he ground out, “we start with you hitting me on the head and go from there?”

She shrugged. “I told you I needed you. There really is a reward for returning you to the Galra empire. Probably why you now own that,” she said, nodding to the fabric around Keith. “It’s the same color we use, and it also would hide your face. But anyone returning you would get that reward... if they were Galra. Otherwise, a little Inni like me?” She smiled. “I was brushed off, like I expected. So I went in, making a big deal about getting my reward. I wanted my reward. And when their guard was down, thinking I was just greedy... that was the last time they let their guard down.” Cáit shrugged. “And then I got you out because I still need you.”

”You manipulated me.”

”Yes.”

The bald faced way she said it took him by surprise. “How do I know you won’t use me again?” he demanded, wishing he had left in his Paladin suit. If he had, he could just have Red open her mouth and watch Cáit fly out without worrying about the pressure difference.

”I still need you. We all do. The resistance, Voltron... we all need you. I wasn’t lying about that.” Cáit sighed, sitting back on her haunches. “If it’ll make you feel better, there is a planet that has won its independance. Barely. We, the resistance, are using it as a base at the moment. You can stay there while I go on missions. That way, you will be around people less... ruthless? Than I am.”

”Less manipulative, you mean.”

”Yes.”

”And if I decide to just kick you out as soon as we’re there?”

A grin crossed her face. “I don’t think you will. Because I think you’ll want to stay long enough to meet the informant that brings supplies to our planet. He’s useful for us, but I think he’ll be more useful for you as Voltron.”

He looked away. But he wasn’t the Red Paladin...

”Just keep going. I won’t contact anyone until we’re there, if it’ll make you feel any better.”

”I think watching you be sucked into the cold vacuum of space would make me feel better,” he told her.

”We’re going to get along swimmingly.”


	7. Chapter 7

Cáit snored.

Keith could have kicked her out of Red for that alone.

But her sleeping, her snoring meant she wasn’t saying anything to him. She wasn’t trying to manipulate him in any way. He could easily just set down at the next planet, quietly move her off Red, and go about his way. Which was exactly what he was considering when Red flashed up an alert that a new planet was nearby. He could literally just kick her out and not feel any worse for it.

As soon as the alert flashed up, he heard the scraping of her claws across Red’s floor as she stretched. She padded over to him on all fours, and sat down. “So what are you going to do?”

Keith glared at her. “What do you mean?”

”You don’t have to listen to me. You could stop here, keep going... you could take me back to Voltron if you felt really daring. Anything is possible here. What are you going to do?”

The words made him exhale sharply. What was he going to do? He wanted Cáit off Red as soon as possible. But at the same time, this informant... but he wasn’t the Red Paladin anymore, so why did that matter to him?

He still... wanted to know who it was. Maybe, if he went back, he could tell the others. It would be useful.

But Cáit... Keith’s hands tightened on the control sticks. “And what if I stop here and kick you out onto the planet as soon as I see ground?”

”I’d die from the fall.”

Honestly, not the worst thing she’d said.

”But you wouldn’t.”

”And why do you say that?” he snapped at her.

Cáit sighed. “Can you zoom in?” At Keith’s glare, she sighed again. “This is the planet I was talking about. There’s a village on the north end by a large forest, a mountain range on the other side of it. It’s the only forest on the continent. That’s the village the resistance has built. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t lied to you,” she added as Keith continued to glare. “I neglected to tell you my plan to get in, but I didn’t lie to you.”

”Exactly. What aren’t you telling me?”

”What do you want to know?”

”Who is this informant?” Keith asked immediately.

”I can’t tell you.”

”I’m not even waiting to get planetside to kick you out.”

”If you want. But Voltron will be missing out on a powerful ally if you do that. Not to mention you probably want to stop anyway for supplies. We have clean bottled water in the supply runs.”

Damn it. She was right. “Fine. But until I get supplies.”

She grinned. “His next run should be soon.”

Fucking damn it.

  


* * *

  


The village was so _loud._ And in every way. The audio and visual loudness pressed into Keith as they entered, Red having been hidden back behind a waterfall. So much was happening at once, and as soon as Cáit entered, she was besieged by several Inni like her. They all looked like her, strangely almost Shiba Inu but with human-like features. But some had bright blue fur, one had huge fangs she was lisping over greatly, and one of the males that kept sniffing her had spines.

Cáit was the only one with almost Galra-like ears.

Keith looked around as Cáit was busy, trying to take in what was around him. There were more children than he ever saw before, and happily gossiping mothers watching them. Smells he didn’t imagine he would smell. Several of the children, a furred reptile type, stopped to gawk at him, and one came forward carefully to lick at his shoes. Keith just stood there awkwardly as it made a noise he couldn’t understand, and went back to its friends, talking animatedly to them.

And then they all descended on him, licking his legs and shoes.

Oh God, why.

Cáit barked at them, and they scattered. “Rrli and their friends don’t know manners,” she told him. “Come with me. Laz said you can stay with her.”

”Laz?”

One of the Inni perked up at the name, a silver one with a scar over one eye. She grinned, the curled tail wagging slightly.

”She’s been living alone since her lover died,” Cáit told him. “She saved Laz from a Galra attack. Be nice to her, Paladin. Laz has...” Cáit sighed, and for once he could see real sorrow on her face. “She’s lost more than you think. She just wants a friend.”

Keith looked over at Laz again. “Yeah.”

Cáit barked at Laz, and she came over, sitting down in front of them. The two of them talked briefly, and Laz tilted her head, puzzled at the end. “Oh,” she said, her voice much lighter than Cáit’s growl. “I didn’t know that.” She turned to Keith, bowing her head. “Good...” Laz looked over at Cáit.

”Afternoon.”

”Afternoon, Paladin of Voltron.” She lifted her head again, looking proud of herself, her tail wagging.

”Good afternoon, Laz.” Keith smiled a little at her, already liking her. Everything about her was so open and sunny.

”My... house is this way. Do you have anything get?”

For a moment, Keith didn’t understand her. Was his translator breaking up on him? But no, by the way Cáit shook her head, it was exactly what Laz had said. Anything get, anything... “Oh, do I have to go get anything from my Lion? No, I’m fine.”

Laz nodded. “Good. This way.”

”I have to go make my report,” Cáit told him. “I’ll probably be off on another mission soon enough. I’ll see you later.”

Keith shook his head. “Not if I can say anything about it.”

”Laz is walking away.”

He looked over, and swore under his breath as he saw Laz slowly walking, her left hind leg hitching slightly. Damn it, he would have to let Cáit have the last word. He wasn’t going to let Laz walk alone. She was actually kind of nice. And he... did kind of want a friend too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be a little scarce these next few days. Christmas, of course, but the Nier: Automata demo just came out. It is awesome. I may have my nose in that instead of writing or commenting back.
> 
> ... please play Nier and Nier: Automata.


	8. Chapter 8

”Careful now, Laz.” Keith came up behind her, steadying her as she stood on her hind legs. “I don’t want you to fall again.”

Laz just flashed him a smile. “Thank.”

Keith smiled back at her. She needed to be more careful. He had a feeling she didn’t stand much on her hind legs anymore, but she did so now because she needed to get things to cook for him. After the first time of stopping her, of telling her she didn’t need to do that for him and seeing the crushed look on her face... he didn’t stop her now. She was just so... nice. And he had this feeling, seeing how she rushed to make him happy, to talk to him, to be around him, that Cáit may have been the only person to talk to her in a long time.

That made him a little angry for more than one reason.

Laz carefully landed back on all fours, frowning. “Need water. Bottles are out.”

”What about nearby streams? Can’t you drink from them?”

She shook her head. “No good after war. Water...” Laz tilted her head. “Buzzing?”

”Radioactive?” Keith hazard a guess.

”Yes!”

That would explain why Cáit had made such a big deal about the water being bottled. “When’s the next supply run?”

”Today?” Laz sat down and counted on her fingers, nodding when the answer matched what she said. “Today. At evening.”

Cáit wanted him to meet this person. In so many ways, he wanted to just leave. He wasn’t the Red Paladin. But... he could always forward this to the others. He didn’t have to be the Red Paladin for this to be useful. “Is there anything I can do?”

Laz’s eyes widened. “No! No.” She shook her head, growling and barking softly. “No. I’m okay.”

Keith reached out, hesitantly pressing his hand between her shoulder blades. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

”Mm.” She shook her head again. “Not upset.”

He smiled at that, pulling his hand away. “Do you want some help?”

She shook her head again. “No.”

Well then. There really wasn’t much else for him to do except lounge about and keep Laz from falling. Keith sighed, going out into the living room. It was a little... uncomfortable being here. Inni apparently didn’t have much in the way of furniture he recognized. But occasionally he’d see a pillow, and Laz would rest on it and he would just have to leave very quickly because... because...

It wasn’t Laz’s fault. He couldn’t even blame Cáit. They wouldn’t know. His room hadn’t been public knowledge.

He didn’t want to go for a walk. What if Laz fell?

”Paladin.” Keith turned as Laz came up behind him, her claws clicking on the floor. “I sleep. You... you too?”

Keith considered his options. Then, he shook his head. Laz would be safe if she was napping. “I’m going to go out.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

”I can get you something if-”

”No.” Laz smiled at him. “Enjoy.”

He couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Have a good nap.”

She nodded, going to the rooms. Keith watched her limp away before setting out. Whatever had happened to her... she didn’t let it get her down. But then again, he didn’t know how long it had been. The scar over her eye looked fairly old.

He hoped he could be gone soon. While he enjoyed Laz’s company, he had a feeling it was because of him that she was out of water. He didn’t want to drain any more of her resources. Not to mention he didn’t know what it was that Cáit had manipulated him into doing. Who knew who this informat actually was, and what they would actually do. He couldn’t even try to press Cáit for more, since she had left for another mission the very next day.

A part of him wondered if that was on purpose.

With a sigh, he looked up. He should be out there. Not just that, he should be... he should be _fighting._ A part of him always would want to be the Red Paladin, even if he thought he couldn’t be the Red Paladin anymore. He would always had a piece of him that would want to fight back.

Something caught his attention. What was that? It looked like a ship, but... was it? Keith frowned, trying to study it. What was up there? Was it the person that brought supplies? But that would be early, wouldn’t it? “Hey,” he asked, catching the attention of a furred lizard woman. “That thing up there... what is it?”

She looked up, and made a happy noise. “He’s here early!” she hissed. The woman slithered off, leaving Keith confused. Who was ‘he’?

When the crowd gathered, Keith started to slip off. He didn’t want to be around right now. And if ‘he’ was the informant, bringing supplies, Laz would want to be here to get hers. So he should get her. He started back, dodging the excited townsfolk. Whoever it was, people were very happy to see him.

When he got back to Laz’s house, he found Laz in her room, curled up between two pillows. Keith stood in the doorway for a moment, closing his eyes tightly. It was just Laz. He wasn’t back in his room. He just needed to wake up Laz. “Hey. Someone’s here.”

”Mm?” He could hear Laz lifting her head, her voice sleeping and distant. “Who? Wrong?”

”I don’t know who. Everyone’s really excited he’s here, though.”

”Oh. Be there shortly.”

Keith left immediately, his chest loosening as soon as he did. That wasn’t easy. He needed to leave here as soon as he talked to this person. It was probably the informant, considering how everyone was acting. Keith opened his eyes as Laz came limping out, her eyes still sleepy. She didn’t say anything as she started to leave, yawning.

When they got there, several Inni were helping distribute goods. Most of them were loading up packs, which... Laz did not have. “Laz, did you forget something?”

”Oh...”

”I’ll go get it.”

It took him a bit for him to get it and come back. By that time, the crowd had thinned considerably, and he could see the spined Inni bringing out what appeared to be the last crate from a ship. Keith handed the pack to Laz quickly, and sprinted over to the ship, ducking in. If this was it, if this was the informant, then he needed to talk to him. He needed-

A Galra stood there.

Keith’s bayard was in his hand before the Galra even turned. It was a soldier of some sort. Male. And he looked very unimpressed- no. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Keith.

”I never would have thought I would see the Emperor’s pet out here,” he rumbled.

”Never would have thought I would see a Galra out here,” Keith shot back, his hand shaking. He wasn’t Zarkon’s pet. “Stay away from them.”

Here, the Galra soldier looked unimpressed. “Or what? You will return to your master? Report what you’ve seen? Be a good little pet?”

”I’m not a pet, damn it!”

”I’ve seen you at the Emperor’s feet of your own free will. The rumor is you escaped and that’s why there’s such a reward for retrieving you... but you were so loyal at his side. I wonder if you even escaped.”

Keith’s breath froze.

”Maybe I should return you to your master so you can continue to be the good little pet I saw you be.”

The hand in his hair-

Eyes on him-

He was a good pet. He gave perfect obedience. He-

He-

A bark broke his thoughts. “Paladin,” he heard Laz say, worried. “Paladin.” He felt her nose, nudging him, and oh he was on the floor. He didn’t have his bayard in his hands. Keith looked up, and saw it resting in the Galra’s hands, a thoughtful look on his face.

”You had gone far away as soon as I said that,” he said, placing the bayard on the ground. “I had easily disarmed you. Not something I would expect if you were truly the Emperor’s pet. The look in your eyes is not easily faked.”

”Paladin...”

”Run, Laz,” Keith managed to say, his voice hoarse. “Get out of here.”

Laz just nudge him again, whining slightly.

”Little one.” The Galra’s voice had gentled here. “I’ll need some time alone with the Paladin. I believe we have a lot to talk about.”

He heard Laz whine one last time, then slowly make her way out. The Galra stared at Keith as he slowly stood, considering, then kicked the bayard across the floor to him. Keith instantly picked it up, feeling the weight of the sword in his hand as it transformed.

”I am Thace,” he told him, sitting down on a nearby crate, his hands resting in plain view. “And I am the resistance’s contact with the Galra empire. May I have your name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a quick sketch of Laz here: http://wineturnstowater.tumblr.com/post/154874029737/hey-vb-can-you-draw-no-hey-vb-are-you


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this in last chapter, but some people probably didn't see it. I decided to show off my meager art skill by drawing Laz: http://wineturnstowater.tumblr.com/post/154874029737/hey-vb-can-you-draw-no-hey-vb-are-you
> 
> I would have done better with pen and a Post-It, tbh, but I didn't feel like sacrificing Post-Its until it looked good and then taking a shitty cellphone picture. But that's Laz!

The question took Keith off guard. “I- what?” Why would a Galra ask him for his name? He lowered his bayard slightly, confused. Why would a Galra offer his own name, in fact? What was going on?

Thace just continue to sit there, his hands remaining visible. “I don’t wish to call you ‘Paladin’ this entire time. I can, if that’s what you desire. But you are more than a title, and I wish to call you something that is not that title.”

”Why?” Keith snapped at him, raising his bayard again. This had to be a trap.

”Because the last title you held was the Emperor’s pet, and that is not a title anyone should ever hold.”

Keith inhaled sharply.

Thace didn’t move. “I do not agree with the Emperor,” he told him. “Everything done in his name has been atrocities, and what he has done has been skirting on blasphemy. The people under his rule should not be treated the way they have been, and the planets should not be in the shape they are. He should be stopped. Whatever I can do to help that, be it bring supplies to a free planet such as this to pass along vital information to the resistance, I will do.” His yellow eyes bore almost intensely on Keith. “If it hadn’t meant both your and my life, you would have not spent as much time as a pet as you did.”

”You would have taken me back to Voltron,” Keith said bitterly.

”I wouldn’t have been able to take you back to your teammates. But I did dream occasionally of hiding you away from Zarkon.”

”Would it be because I should be free or to hurt Zarkon?” Keith shot at him.

Thace’s face turned wry at that. “You’re perceptive.”

That was all he needed to hear. “You’re going to leave,” Keith told him. “And never return to this planet.”

”I can’t do that.” Thace started to move his hands, then froze, moving them back into Keith’s view. “You don’t understand. These people live for these supplies and my information. I cannot leave them to their deaths. They have fought back so hard, and they need all the help that can be provided. I will give them my help, no matter what you say.”

”Would it be to actually help them or to hurt Zarkon?”

”Would it be so bad if it was both?”

Keith looked away.

Thace sighed. “You may not believe me. But I will not leave anyone fighting so hard to be free to die. And that-” His eyes were so intense. “-includes you. Perhaps more _means_ you, fighting to be free from being a pet.”

”And why do you care about that? You were so insistent I was a pet before.”

”I had been afraid you were a spy. The last I saw you, you had been happily at the Emperor’s feet. But the last time I had seen such fear and inability to reach a person, it had been in an old soldier that had seen all her team be ripped apart, and had to hold the base by herself, in the middle of the severed body parts of her teammates. She had never been quite the same, been pressured to quietly retire, and when I spoke to her, she had an episode much like yours. Someone happened to you while you were a pet, something that affected you just as deeply, and it’s something you would want to escape from, not return to.” Thace closed his eyes, and Keith’s hand tightened on his bayard. Thace was leaving himself open to attack by doing that and- and he was- he was just doing it. He was keeping his eyes closed. “I am not going to return someone to something that affected them in that way,” he told him, opening his eyes after a bit. “I will not return you to the Emperor.”

Keith swallowed. “Thank you,” he muttered, trying to add sarcasm to the words and failing.

”Paladin, I do understand if you don’t wish to give me your name-”

”I’m not the Red Paladin,” Keith blurted out, the words no longer wishing to remain behind his lips. “I don’t- I can’t be. Not after being Zarkon’s pet. I don’t deserve to be the Red Paladin. I-”

Thace frowned. “Do you still pilot the Red Lion?”

”I- yes-”

”Then that is unacceptable. You must be the Red Paladin. The Red Lion has not repudiated you and seeked out a new Paladin. You are the Red Paladin, and acting like you are not is childish and unacceptable.”

Keith glared at him. “And why is it unacceptable?”

”Because we need Voltron. Without it, your teammates are in danger with every battle. I would assume they’ve lost quite a few since you’ve been a pet, and since you’ve been off doing this. You may need time to recover from your trauma, but if the Red Lion is still accepting you, you are still the Red Paladin. You can still fight.”

”I can’t trust Allura,” Keith told him, his voice biting. “I know now a lot of what Zarkon said was bullshit, but I still can’t trust Allura.”

”Allura, the Princess? I’ve heard of some of the things she’s done, and while some of them are the actions of a naive fool, they are also brave. She is worth following, Paladin. With time, she will lose that naiveté and she will be a formidable leader.”

Keith looked away.

Thace sighed. “No matter what you think, we need you. Please think on that, Paladin. I will be here for a bit, making sure everyone is doing well and there is no need for any medicines. I’m the only one that the nearest planet will trade for medicine, as they fear not trading with a Galra will do to them. Before you take offense to that, I do make sure it’s a fair trade.”

”Oh, well, that makes it all good and nice then.”

”Sarcasm does not become you.”

Keith couldn’t help himself. He snorted in amusement.

Thace smiled a little, standing slowly, his hands still in plain view. “I do have two requests. The first is when you return to your teammates that you bring a device to them. I will explain in detail what it is so you do not worry that it’s going to harm any of them. In short, it holds information they won’t get anywhere else. The second... I would wish to test your mettle. I haven’t had a chance to spar against a Paladin of Voltron before, and I would like to do so in a way where neither of us would worry for our lives.”

”Spar?”

”Yes. I figure it would be fun.”

Keith couldn’t help but snort in amusement again. Of course a Galra would think that. “Fine. I’ll spar with you later.”

It was strange to see Thace actually look happy at that. “Wonderful. Now, you should let your Inni know you’re still alive and well. Considering how much she cares for you, I assume the only reason I’m not fending a war veteran like her of at this point is she already knows who I am.”

Laz was a war vet? “What do you mean by war veteran?”

”You haven’t seen her scars? Those are battle wounds.”

Keith thought back to the one over her eye, her limp, and the context of battle. “Oh.”

”Many of the older Inni are. That, or are runners, like Cáit.” Thace’s face twisted into annoyance.

”You’ve dealt with Cáit.”

”Unfortunately.”

Well, good thing to know that Cáit annoyed everyone. “I’ll think about everything you said. I still don’t quite believe you.”

”I understand.”

Thace nodded at him. Keith left then, his bayard transforming back as he saw Laz coming up to him, nosing him all over. “I’m fine,” he told her quietly. “He didn’t hurt me.”

Laz just looked up at him, whining softly.

”I’m fine. Let’s get your stuff and go home.”

She nudged his leg, and nodded. As Keith packed up her supplies, Thace’s words kept circling in his head, none of them landing long enough for him to examine them. He had heard so much... but he didn’t know how much he could believe. How much was true. All he knew was Thace really was bringing supplies.

One thought did keep coming back. He was being childish by saying he wasn’t the Red Paladin. Not that he was taking the time to heal... but by saying he wasn’t the Red Paladin when he could still pilot Red.

Maybe. But Thace didn’t know what he went through. What he had started to think. What... what had happened. He didn’t know. He couldn’t know. It- he-

Keith closed his eyes as he felt Laz’s head bump against his hand. He didn’t know.

And for some reason, he wanted to tell Thace.

Even though he barely knew him.

”Come on, Laz.” His fingers moved gently against her ears. “Let’s go home.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas I'm going to sleep now.

Laz’s body radiated heat next to his as they rested. She hadn’t left Keith’s side since they returned to her home, worried as they put away the supplies. It wasn’t quite underfoot, as they were both working and she wasn’t getting in his way, but she made sure she was always near him.

Neither of them mentioned Keith’s fingers constantly dipping down to rub against her ears.

”Everything okay?” Laz asked, her voice quiet as she rested her head on his lap.

Keith made a soft noise, rubbing her ears. “I’m fine, Laz.” He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of her fur against his fingers. “Everything’s okay.”

She growled softly, shifting a little. “What happened?”

”Nothing.” Laz’s head lifted slightly, glaring at him. “Nothing happened. Thace and I just talked.”

Laz shook her head. “You smelled... sad.”

Keith closed his eyes. “It’s nothing.”

”Paladin...”

Thace’s words filled his head. Paladin... a title... but not his name. Thace had requested his name. “It’s... something really big, Laz. It’s...”

”Why pillows? Don’t... you don’t?”

The words didn’t exactly make sense, but they didn’t have to. “Yeah,” he told her quietly. “Things happened.”

”Talk?”

Keith’s fingers slowed, then stopped, just resting on her ears. “It’s... a lot, Laz. I don’t think I can talk about it right now. I- what happened-” He shook his head, his thumb moving absently on her head. “I can’t talk about it.”

Laz nudged his leg with her head a little. “Be okay.”

He laughed a little, his fingers stroking her ears again. “I will. It’ll be okay.”

”Paladin...” Her voice was full of worry as she nudged him again.

”I promise.”

Laz whined a little, but didn’t say anything else. Keith continued to stroke her ears, his mind going back to the conversation between him and Thace. It had been, by far, the last conversation he had expected to have with a Galra. Thace had asked him things he hadn’t expected, said things... Why? Why had Thace... It didn’t make any sense. Even if Thace had wanted to be his ally, why want his name?

None of it made any sense.

”How long does Thace usually stay?” he asked, making Laz stir a little.

She lifted one hand, counting on her fingers. A disgruntled noise escaped her throat as she counted again. “I-”

”Don’t worry about it.” His fingers stroked across a scar hidden by fur, tracing the line of raised flesh. So many scars he hadn’t realized she had... “Thace said he wants to spar with me at some point. I was just curious how long I had to accept that before he left.”

”Can I watch?” Laz lifted her head, looking at him. “Paladin against Galra... should be good.”

It took him by surprise. He hadn’t expected to hear her say that. But it occurred to him that he didn’t know anything about Inni culture... or what she had actually meant to say. “Yeah. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

She smiled at him, and lowered her head back onto his lap. “Good. Kick ass.”

Maybe she was a little more bloodthirsty than he originally thought.

  


* * *

  


He could still feel Zornia’s hand in his, leading him through the ship. Making sure they were safe, making sure her kitten would escape.

He could still feel when her hand was yanked from his grasp, hear her gasp, the thud-

Keith woke. “Zornia!”

There was a whine next to him, and he jumped as he felt something move. “Paladin okay?” came a light sleepy whisper.

Laz. It was Laz.

He had to go. He had to go before she turned out like Zornia.

”Yeah. I’m... I’m fine. I’m just going to-”

One of her upper legs reached out, tugging at him. “Sleep.”

”Laz, I need to go,” he managed to choke out, shifting away from her. “I can’t- you-”

Slowly, she sat up. “I don’t-”

”You’ll be killed if I stay here. I can’t-”

Laz shook her head. “If I die, not you. Not... because of you,” she repeated carefully. “I... am a soldier. Still. I protect here if they come. If I die, in... I will in battle.”

”I can’t-”

”Paladin.” She shook her head again, more pointed this time. “Why? Why afraid?”

”I-” Keith stopped himself, and took a deep ragged breath. “I got someone killed. Someone I- I cared about. She saved my life and because of me she-” He broke off, breathing heavily.

Laz rested her head on his shoulder, nuzzling. “She loved you.”

”I got her killed,” Keith whispered miserably, his arms wrapping around her.

She just whined a little. “No. Don’t.”

”Laz-”

”Don’t! I didn’t get Mia killed! You didn’t get her killed! That is true! Has to be!” Laz shivered, whimpering. “Has to be. She loved you. You... you need...”

Keith blinked. “Laz...”

Her head shook. “I was told. I believed. Now you believe. You didn’t get her killed.”

Believe... Keith closed his eyes, holding her close. He felt the fur under his fingers, the heat of her body... and imagined her lying in the middle of the village, still, bloody, dead.

He held her closer.

He was going to get her killed.

  


* * *

  


Thace was in his ship when Keith came to visit. “Paladin.” He rose as soon as he saw Keith, his hands instantly moving away from any weapons and remaining in plain view. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

”You wanted to spar, right?” Keith asked, his voice rough. Laz would be so unhappy she wouldn’t see this, but- “I’m leaving tomorrow. We do this now.”

The naked surprise on Thace’s face took Keith by surprise. “What brought this on?”

”What does it matter? You want to spar, right? Let’s go!”

Instead of accepting, Thace shook his head. “Paladin... I will spar with you. When you’re at your best. Right now, you’re being run by emotion and it would be a very short, unsatisfying session.”

Keith grit his teeth. “Yeah, well, I- I pilot the Red Lion. Running on instinct and emotion come with the territory.”

”Except this.” Thace gestured to a nearby chair as he sat. “I agree, emotion and instinct are powerful in battle. Many Galra do so. But this is... the wrong emotion. I don’t sense bloodlust here. I’m not sure what it is.”

”Just say yes and fight me, damn it!”

”Paladin...”

”Stop calling me that! I’m not a Paladin! My name is Keith, okay? Keith!”

”Keith.” The sound of his name on Galra lips cut into him. He hadn’t expected Thace to actually use his name. “Sit down.”

Keith swallowed, and sat, his hands balled on his lap.

”What’s wrong?”

”I can’t stay here,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m going to get them all killed, like I- like I got Zornia-”

”This is perhaps the safest place for you to be, Keith. If you do wish to leave, none here can stop you. But rethink your actions when you’re not filled with grief. If the answer is still the same, we can help you with your supplies. If it’s not... I implore you to stay.”

Keith closed his eyes tightly.

”I do have to ask... who was Zornia?”

”Why does it matter?” Keith asked harshly. “Why does it matter to you?”

”It may help you bleed off the grief to speak of this person.”

With a deep breath, Keith opened his eyes, staring at the ground. “I had a servant when I was in Zarkon’s care,” he said, his voice quiet. “She hated me at first. But when I told her the others had abandoned me... I thought the others had abandoned me, she started to adopt me. Called me her furless kitten. After the others rescued me and I realized Zarkon was full of shit, I... I don’t know why, but I had to see Zarkon one last time.” Keith shook his head, the memory of just how stupid he had been coming back. “Zarkon had wanted perfect obedience from me. Always. When I- when I told him I wasn’t his pet, he- he ordered my death. The Galra soldier that tried to kill me, Zornia... ripped his throat out.”

”A brave mother.”

Thace’s words made him smile a little. “Yeah. We... we ran. And we almost escaped, but another soldier grabbed her. Zornia... made sure we could escape before the soldier killed her.”

”Hm.” Thace leaned back a bit. “From what you’ve told me, Zornia was marked for death before you even were caught. The Emperor’s servants are used at times to make a point, and she would have died for that. After you were in his care, he would have used her to ensure your loyalty. The fact she chose her death was her own way of fighting back against the Emperor. She died not for an example for him, but for love.”

Keith looked away.

”She was brave until the end. Having a mother like that, even for a short time, is a great honor. Holding onto her memory like this, obsessing over how your actions caused her to be able to choose her own death and diminishing the choice, is doing a disservice to her.” Thace watched him intently. “She deserves to be remembered. She deserves to have her story told as a brave mother, fighting back against the Emperor and choosing her own death. She does not deserve to have her memory be a reason not to move forward.”

”I-”

”It is still fresh for you. I understand. But she would want more for you.”

Keith shook his head. “Thace, I-”

He heard Thace stand, and he looked up in time for Thace to reach down, wiping away tears he didn’t even know were there. “Grieve, Keith,” he said gently. “But do not obsess. Tell her story.”

Keith nodded, closing his eyes. He felt Thace pull him close, and suddenly he was crying, remembering how Zornia would press a little treat in his hand randomly when they went back to his room. How she would smile right after.

And Thace just held him as he cried, letting him cling to him as he sobbed.


	11. Chapter 11

”Laz is going to wonder where I am,” Keith finally whispered, his voice hoarse. As he cried, Thace had just held him. Just held him as the tears slowed, and stopped, holding him as long as Keith wanted him to in a too comfortable silence.

Thace pulled back a little, his thumb coming up to wipe at the wetness on his cheek. “Do you want me to walk you back, Keith?”

It took all his willpower not to nuzzle slightly into that caring touch. What the hell. “I’ll be fine,” he told him. “It’s okay.”

Thace just nodded to that, pulling his hand away. Keith stood, going to the door as Thace sat back down. “You’re welcome back here at any time,” Thace told him. “If you so wish.”

That made Keith pause for a moment, his hand half raised. “So I can come back and talk to you if I wanted to.”

”Yes. It’s your choice and I will let you make it.”

Keith swallowed. It was his choice. “I’ll... think about it.”

Thace didn’t answer to that, and Keith fled. He couldn’t... something was different about being there. He couldn’t be around that. It- it was too nice. Thace was Galra, damn it. He couldn’t think about things being nice around him. They couldn’t be. Thace was just going to help him out, be a contact for Voltron. That’s all.

That was all.

The sun was starting to set when he came back to Laz’s house. He could see her moving around inside, moving slowly and painfully. Damn it. Keith entered the house to see her lay down on the ground, her face relieved as she did so. “Laz, everything okay?”

”Leg hurt,” she grumbled. “Bad day. You?”

Keith hesitated. How would he answer? “I... went to see Thace. Do you think you’ll be up to watching us spar in the next few days?”

Laz grumbled again. “Don’t know. Soon?”

He nodded, reaching out to stroke her ears. “Yeah. I don’t know when he’s leaving and- and I should probably get going soon myself. I can’t stay here forever.”

”I know.” Laz looked up at him. “Wish you could. But Paladin. You fight.”

That made him smile sadly. He wasn’t- but Red didn’t kick him out, like Thace said. So in a way, he still had to be the Red Paladin. And he was right, without him, Voltron had to be suffering. They would need a Red Paladin soon before they suffered a major defeat, which meant either he would need to send Red completely on her way, to stop piloting her completely, or... or return. Return to them, return to being the Red Paladin.

He still didn’t know which choice he would take.

”Laz.” Keith sat down next to her, crossing his legs. “I want to... I want to say thank you. For being a friend to me while I’ve been here.”

She just smiled a little, scooting forward to lay her head where his ankles crossed. “Thank you for being friend,” Laz told him. “Thank you for being Paladin.”

Keith rubbed her ears, sighing. “My name’s Keith,” he told her quietly. “I-”

”Mm.” Her eyes closed. “Keith. Good Keith.”

It made him laugh a little. Here was someone that looked very much like a dog praising him like a human would praise a dog. “Yeah. Good Keith.”

But... he just hoped he would be allowed back. He did just grab Red and run. The rest... might just turn him away for doing that. They might just take Red away from him and force him to leave. Probably not; the others were too good to just turn him away. Hell, Shiro had tried to find him again when he had first been captured with a concussion! But... he didn’t know if this was one step too far. It was possible this was the last straw.

Keith closed his eyes, still rubbing her ears gently as he tried not to think about it.

  


* * *

  


”Ow.”

Keith sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Laz, if your leg is hurting you that much, you don’t have to come with me.”

”Want to see,” she told him stubbornly. “Should be good.”

”And I don’t want to see you hurt,” he shot back. “Go lay down. I’ll see if Thace has any painkillers once we’re done sparring.”

She grumbled, glaring up at him.

”I’ve dealt with worse glares, Laz. You’re not going to sway me.”

”Fine.” Laz limped her way over to a pillow, and Keith looked away as she lowered herself onto it with a relieved sigh. He knew when she was really in that much pain the pillows were better for her than the bare floor, but he still couldn’t watch it. “Kick his ass.”

”I will,” he promised, hastily rubbing her ears without looking at her. She nuzzled his hand briefly before he went to leave. He had gotten good about not noticing the pillows anymore, but he still couldn’t watch her laying on one. It didn’t exactly... bring back memories, but it was uncomfortable enough that he felt his heart squeezing and his breath picking up as he looked at her. Maybe he’d be okay with it with time. But right now... he couldn’t do it.

By the time he reached Thace’s ship, the sun had nearly set. Thace was outside the ship when he arrived, helping an Inni with something. He nodded to Keith before going back to the Inni, finally turning to him when the bright red Inni started loping back into town. “Hello, Keith.”

It still sounded so strange to hear a Galra speak his name. “Hey. So, Laz couldn’t come. Her leg’s hurting her. But, wanna spar?”

Thace stared at him for a moment, and Keith stared back. Finally Thace laughed. “You seem in much better spirits,” he said. “Yes, Keith. I will spar with you now. We shouldn’t have a crowd.”

Keith nodded, swallowing as Thace took a few steps back. He raised his arms, fists balled as he watched Thace shift his weight. It looked like he was just standing there, casual, but Keith could see the tension. He was waiting. He was waiting for Keith to make the first move.

So he did, shifting his weight onto one leg as the other swept up. Thace easily knocked his leg aside, frowning. Keith frowned as well, starting to circle him. He jabbed at Thace a few times, the Galra easily blocking or deflecting his blows with a deepening frown. It stung at Keith to watch that frown, making his blood boil until finally, he rushed forward, aiming a fist for Thace’s stomach.

Only for Thace to grab it, hold it. “I don’t know if this is typical of the Paladins of Voltron, or it’s because of your captivity,” he said, “but you are worryingly weak and slow.”

Keith vision narrowed as soon as he said that, and he ripped his arm free, punching Thace in the face. It took him by surprise, making him stumble back. But not enough. Keith shifted his weight, a kick arcing through the air and slamming into Thace’s side. Thace had to brace himself, but he could tell it wasn’t enough. That Thace was right, he wasn’t up to his usual standards.

And then Thace threw a punch of his own, and Keith had to dodge. No, he wasn’t as fast as he usually was. He was right, Keith realized as he blocked a punch from Thace. His captivity had weakened him. Damn it. Damn-!

With a howl, Keith rushed at Thace, tackling him. It took him by surprise, and the two of them fell. Keith pinned Thace with one hand, holding the other up, ready to punch him as he felt Thace’s body under him shift, breathe. Thace was so warm under him, and his heart beat so fast in his chest as Thace watched him. He was so warm, and Keith could feel the pulse of his own cock beating against the seam of his pants, hard with the adrenaline and the feeling of someone against him-

He could feel something hard nudging up against him-

Keith froze, unable to breathe.

If he didn’t move, if he just let it happen, it wouldn’t hurt as much. He was supposed to give perfect obedience. He was supposed to- he-

”-eith. Keith. It’s okay. Keith.”

He-

”Keith.”

Ground was under his knees. He was kneeling in dirt. A Galra was kneeling before him, worried. “Keith?”

A Galra... worried about him... worried...

”Thace.” Was that his voice? It scraped in his throat.

Thace just sat down in front of him, relieved. “What happened?” he asked gently, keeping his hands on his knees.

Keith slowly sat as well, shaking. He couldn’t stand up if he tried. “I-” Keith swallowed, then shook his head. He couldn’t say it.

”Would you like some water?”

He nodded.

Thace stood, and Keith just sat there for a moment, staring at the moment where he had been while Thace went to grab a bottle of water. Then, slowly, he closed his eyes, shuddering.

It had been a fight. Adrenaline had made them both aroused. That was all. That was it. Thace wasn’t... he wasn’t going to hurt him. He hadn’t hurt him yet. He wasn’t... he wasn’t Zarkon.

Keith opened his eyes as Thace returned, taking the water bottle and cracking it open, taking a sip. It wasn’t hard to do so, but he had to keep telling himself: Thace wasn’t Zarkon. He wasn’t going to hurt him. He wasn’t going to rape him. He was... he had been safe so far. The people here trusted him. He could trust him.

Thace wasn’t going to rape him.

Keith took another sip of water.

He had to keep telling himself that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain was rather flighty today with everything that happened (RIP Carrie Fisher and Richard Adams), so this took a lot longer than I wanted it to. I apologize.

Keith didn’t even stand before he was throwing up.

Humiliated, he felt Thace’s hand rubbing his back as the water came back up, splattering onto the ground. His stomach cramped, nausea overcoming him as he gagged, more bile coming up. He could hear a soft noise, maybe Thace whispering calming words. Maybe Thace was purring, he had no fucking clue. It just... sounded nice. Calming.

Finally, Keith sat back, wiping his mouth. “Sorry about that,” he whispered, voice rough from the vomiting.

”That’s quite a reaction to having the upper hand,” Thace told him, his voice low and even. Almost purring. “I would assume it has to do with your time in captivity?”

He nodded, feeling his stomach roll at the motion. “Yeah.”

”What was the trigger? If it’s battle in general, that worries me more than your blows being weak.”

”No.” Keith wiped his mouth again. “No, it...” He was soft again, which was good. He didn’t know what he would do if he was still hard after all of that. But during their sparring session, he had gotten hard. He had gotten _aroused_ and he had felt Thace against him, hard- Keith gagged.

Thace _was_ purring. It sounded nice.

Keith finally forced his stomach to settle, breathing hard through his nose. “I can’t talk about it,” he grit out.

”I would not keep this to yourself. I haven’t heard of you fighting since your escape, and if this is how you react, you need to work on facing that and putting that to rest.”

He laughed a little at that, the sound bitter. “Thace, you have no idea what I went through. You have no idea how hard it is to just... even think of it.”

Thace’s hand stilled on his back. “I was forced to kill children,” he rumbled. “It’s normal for Galra soldiers starting out. Children prisoners that cannot perform their duties are to die. If I were to keep my cover, I had to kill them. There was no room for setting them free. I looked. But it was done under supervision, and if I hesitated I would be disciplined for it, watched closely for signs of disobedience after. I still wake some nights with their screams in my ears.”

Keith just stared at him.

”It helps to speak of it. The feelings will... never quite go away. But speaking of it will help make it less... sharp. It has helped me view what I did as an atrocity but not one I chose, and one I took as a learning experience. That if I am ever in that position again, how to not to be forced to carry it out.” Thace started rubbing his back again, making Keith’s eyes close slightly. “Perhaps saying aloud what happened to you will help you.”

”Yeah, except it’s still...” Keith swallowed. “I still... think I’m there, sometimes. That’s what happened. I thought... I thought I was there. I thought Zarkon was right there and if I was good, I would be okay. I had to give him perfect obedience, and I thought I was back there, so if I gave him that obedience it wouldn’t hurt-”

Thace let his words break off, waiting. “What wouldn’t hurt?” he finally asked, his voice deeply purring.

Keith shook his head.

”Would you mind if I made some guesses?”

”If you want to,” he said softly, his voice bitingly bitter.

For a moment, Thace only purred. Then, he spoke, his voice thoughtful. “The Emperor harmed you. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.” His thumb brushed across Keith’s spine. “You didn’t freeze when the fight started. Thus it was when you were atop me, about to strike.”

Keith swallowed.

”You had worried the Emperor was there. That he would hurt you.”

He closed his eyes tightly.

”I doubt it would be because you would be fighting back. You mentioned perfect obedience, and that it wouldn’t hurt if you gave it to him.”

”Just say it,” Keith snapped at him. “Just say I was raped.”

Thace purred for a few moments. “I had worried that was the answer,” he finally said. “I had indeed felt you hard against me... it’s quite sad to hear that mine caused you distress.”

Keith barked out a laugh. “You felt my-”

”It’s a normal part of a fight. The fact it caused you distress is saddening to hear. You deserve to be in complete control of your body.” Thace’s hand moved to his cheek, rubbing gently. “You deserve so much, Keith,” he rumbled.

”Damn it.” His eyes closed as he leaned into the touch, both gestures unbidden. “So what? What the fuck am I supposed to do about it? I-” Keith’s eyes opened slightly as Thace’s hand fell away. “It’s not like I can just shut off my memories.”

He shook his head. “Perhaps not. But perhaps you can start framing what happened now differently than what happened then. We were sparring. Fighting. You never fought with the Emperor beforehand. You only gave perfect obedience. I suppose there are other things that will help you distance what happened from what the Emperor did to you. And it may help you when something happens again to realize it’s not the same, that you can frame it differently.”

Keith nodded. “And if I can’t?”

Thace laughed, a purring laughing. “I have faith you can. You’re a Paladin of Voltron. As you’ve already proven, you’re quite a hardy bunch.”

That startled a laugh out of him. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

With a smile, Thace helped him up. “Allow me to walk you home.”

The idea of having company both attracted and repulsed him. But in the end, Keith nodded. He didn’t want to be alone. Not with the idea in the back of his head that if he was alone, he might be caught again. He wouldn’t be, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling.

It was dark when they made it back to Laz’s house. Keith turned to Thace, only seeing the yellow of his eyes. “So, uh...”

”You may return at any time,” Thace told him. “In fact, I request you return to spar with me every day. No, to train. You need to regain your strength and speed. And, I think, it may help you feel a bit more safe.” Faintly, Keith could see the curve of a smile. “That’s all I request.”

Frankly, it would make him feel better to know he was up to his usual standards as well. What would happen during, though... No. He couldn’t let himself be afraid of that. No matter what he chose about Voltron, he would be in fights. He couldn’t let himself be afraid of what would happen. “Yeah. Of course.”

Thace hesitated for a moment, and for that bizarre moment Keith tilted his head up in expectation of a _kiss._ But it passed, and Thace only nodded at him, turning to leave.

Keith closed his eyes as Thace left, shaking his head. “What the fuck, self,” he whispered, before entering Laz’s house.

Laz didn’t rise to meet him, but he expected that. He also slightly expected her not to have gotten up, and to have fallen asleep on her pillow. She was going to be so stiff and sore when she had to get up... Keith sighed, closing his eyes and reaching down to wake her up.

A clawed hand swiped at him, and he pulled back, trying not to get hit. “Hey. It’s just me. You fell asleep out here again.”

”Oh...” Her voice was thick, still half asleep.

As Keith helped her up, helped her into the sling of her bed, the memories started to calm in his head until they rested, letting him sleep once he let himself go to bed.

The memories came back out as nightmares soon after.


	13. Chapter 13

Silence filled the village.

It worried Keith. Normally there would be the little... what did Laz call them? Tilri children. The furred lizards. But there weren’t any. He could see a few Inni and Tilri walking around, but far less than he was used to. “What’s going on?” he muttered to himself. Laz wouldn’t know; she barely got out of the house. Keith had a feeling she left the house more now that he was here than she ever had before.

This was disturbing. It reminded him of planets that weren’t doing so well, where Galra influence was strong and good food was hard to come by.

And there was a Galra here. There was Thace.

Keith’s hand dropped to his bayard as he ran, his heart pounding in his ears. How could he have been so stupid. He knew Thace had to be bad from the beginning. And he let him just fill his head with nonsense about wanting to fight back against Zarkon, about not taking him back, about looking at what happened differently. Thace had to be just waiting for everyone to let the guard down. Damn it. How could he have been so stupid?

He had a chance to save these people last time. He wasn’t going to let it by this time.

Keith ran, his bayard transforming as he did, only to skid to a stop when he reached where Thace’s ship should be. Should be. Where it wasn’t.

Damn it. He had been so stupid. Thace was probably leading Galra ship there now. He had to get back to Red now. Galra had to be coming. He had to- he- fuck, he wasn’t a Paladin of Voltron... was he? He didn’t have to defend this planet. These people. These...

He looked back towards the houses.

They all had welcomed him. And Laz had sheltered him, helped him. If Thace had gone to betray them, he couldn’t run. He had to stay. He had to fight.

It was almost like being a Paladin again.

Keith’s bayard transformed back as he started back to Laz’s house. Thace hadn’t been gone that long. He had time to go back, to tell Laz. Maybe see if there would be anyone that would help. This planet won their independance. They had to be warriors.

”Paladin.” A Tilri woman came closer, holding her child. The child whimpered in her arms, and she hushed it. “Our contact... has he gone?”

He nodded carefully. She didn’t seem surprised by it, even a little relieved when he nodded. What was going on?

”Last time any of us let our children run around in the woods,” she grumbled, bouncing her child slightly. “One came back sick, and got the rest sick. Could you help me take some wood back to my house?”

Sickness? “Then Thace is-”

”He has gone to get medicine, most likely. Help?” The question came out more pointed this time, expecting him to respond.

”Yeah, sure.” Keith picked up the packs of wood, following her. Was that what was going on? Thace had just gone to get medicine? But why had the kids come back sick? Keith looked out over the woods, worried. What was out there?

”Thank you,” the Tilri woman hissed, her voice pleased. “I hope you visit after you rejoin your team. You’ve been so nice, and I know I would enjoy meeting the rest of Voltron.”

”I... can see what the others think.”

The Tilri nodded, readjusting her child in her arms as it started to cry. She hissed soothing sounds, looking up at Keith’s apologetically. He nodded, leaving her be. He didn’t deal well with sick adults, much less sick children.

So Thace was probably gone getting medicine. It just... he couldn’t shake the bad feeling that something had gone wrong. That he would need to fight soon. Everyone trusted Thace with their lives... and he had to stop doing it. Thace was Galra. The Galra had hurt him. Even before Zarkon had gotten to him, they had tortured him. One would have killed him, he told himself, placing a hand over his stomach. He had to stop thinking of Thace as safe.

He shivered, remembering Thace’s hand on his back. The comforting touch, something he hadn’t gotten in a long time. Thace’s fingers on his cheek, warm. His words, telling him to frame his arousal outside of Zarkon’s touch, outside of the abuse...

Why would he say things like that? Why would he want to help him like that? Yes, he did need Keith as a Paladin of Voltron, but... why?

Keith closed his eyes.

He wish he knew.

  


* * *

  


A monster was talking to Thace when he came back.

Keith’s bayard was in his hands before he could even breathe. The white furred monster carefully took a packet from him, its crystalline claws glittering in the sunlight. It had long fangs covering the entire width of the face on the upper jaw, no lower jaw- no. No, now that Keith looked, that white face was a mask. It was a monstrous mask, and he had a feeling those teeth were real, from a real beast up in those woods, but a mask. There was something else under it, either with black fur or dyed black.

And all he could see from that were the occasional glimpse of long sharp teeth.

The monster turned to go back up into the woods, and Keith watched it go. Thace rubbed his head, sighing. “And this is why the Migka should be careful when interacting with the Tilri,” he muttered. Thace turned to a crate at his side, counting what was in it. “You can put your weapon away,” he said casually, still counting. “The Migka wouldn’t have harmed you. You aren’t intruding on one of their hunts, and you don’t eat them.”

Keith took a deep breath, and deactivated his bayard, stashing it. “That the medicine?”

”Yes. I take it the Tilri are rather ill?”

”Yeah. The mothers are starting to get sick too.”

Thace nodded. “We need to distribute these. Keith, you know which households are stricken. Would you show me to them?”

The request took Keith by surprise. He would go to their houses personally? “Sure.”

In return, Thace smiled at him, picking up the crate. “Then let us go.”

The two of them walked in silence, going to each house quickly. It was obvious Thace was uneasy around them, uneasy with their gratitude. “It’s okay,” he told one Tilri mother. “You don’t need to do much else. Just get better.”

She nodded, having to go back to her child. Keith saw Thace visibly relax when she left.

When they were done and back at Thace’s ship, Keith snorted. “You’re not good with people.”

”I dislike the feeling people are in debt to me. That feeling could be abused, the people of this planet forced into things they would rather not do because of things I do for them. I would rather they accept this, and their payment be the work they do for their children.”

Thace’s words were so... _noble._ He had to stop thinking of Thace as safe. As... not. He wasn’t safe. Thace still could be tricking these people, tricking him. And if he was what he seemed, he was still Galra. He was... still Galra. But damn it. Damn it, Thace was... Thace was _Thace._ He was... he kept saying things, making Keith feel... like he could trust him. Like he was more than just Galra.

Maybe... he might be able to trust him. A little. Maybe...

”Is something wrong, Keith?” Thace tilted his head, frowning.

”No.” Keith shook his head. “Nothing wrong.”

Thace smiled a little. Then, a look crossed his face as he shifted, his yellow eyes softening. Keith’s lips parted slightly as Thace stepped closer, something hesitant in his face. “Thank you,” he whispered to Keith. “For helping me today.”

”No problem,” he told him, his throat dry. What was happening?

Thace seemed to be thinking the same thing, his brow furrowing. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and he shook his head, taking a step back. “I would have never managed to distribute-”

Keith grabbed Thace’s ears, pulled him close, and kissed him. Because damn it, something was happening here and this was what his instincts told him to do. Once he did, the smell of Galra, the feeling of fur made every part of him crawl, but- this wasn’t Zarkon. What was it Thace said? Frame it differently. _He_ did this. _Keith_ was kissing him, not the other way around. _Keith_ took charge here. Not Thace. Thace was letting himself be kissed. Thace was being the submissive party here, letting Keith take control, only reaching up and running a hand through Keith’s sweaty hair-

He was standing. Why was he standing? Zarkon wouldn’t like that. He sat immediately at the Galra’s feet, resting up against him. This was his spot. He was a pet. The hand in his hair said so. Keith let his eyes close slightly as the hand in his hair moved, pulled away. He was a good pet. He had to be. When he wasn’t, he was going to be hurt- he was going to- Zornia-

No-

No, he was good- see how good he was-

His breath was coming too fast. He was good. He was-

Keith looked up at the Galra. He was good.

The Galra looked stricken. He bent down, reaching out to Keith, only for him to flinch. If he was doing that, Keith wasn’t good. He was going to be dragged away, punished. He gave perfect obedience. He was good.

The Galra was talking. He had to listen.

”Damn it all. Keith. Keith, can you hear me? Keith, it’s okay. I will not hurt you.”

It didn’t make sense. Why was he... he was...

”Keith. You’re safe. You’re-” The Galra tried to reach out again, only for Keith to flinch again. “Damn!”

He was angry.

Next time, he wouldn’t flinch.

”The Inni. Keith, I will be back with your Inni.”

Inni?

It didn’t make sense. But the Galra was leaving. Leaving him. Leaving...

Leaving...

A bark suddenly filled his world. Fur. Silver fur, not purple. A scar over kind eyes.

Laz.

Keith stared at her for a moment. Then up at Thace, breathing raggedly.

Then he curled up, screaming into the dirt.


	14. Chapter 14

The forest glowed ever so slightly at night. Keith never noticed it before. What was there that caused it? What kind of fauna was in the forest?

Laz shifted next to him as he stared out the window. Her hip had to be hurting her, but she didn’t complain. She just sat next to him. Being something that he hadn’t seen until he came here. He kinda wished he saw some Tilri on the way in as well - definitely something he hadn’t seen on Zarkon’s ship - but Laz, an Inni, helped a lot. She looked like a dog. She didn’t look like a cat, and her eyes- he could see iris. He could see pupil. She had white of her eyes. Inni weren’t anything like Galra.

Keith closed his eyes, pulling his blanket in tighter around him. It was another layer between him and the world, and while it made him want to throw it off and be free in one sense, it soothed him in another. It was a layer between him and Thace.

Damn it.

It had just been a hand in his hair. But it- Zarkon had used his hair more than anything. Stroked it possessively, seized it when angry...

He had to make it go away.

The thought gripped him. He had to make that trigger go away. If he fought the Galra, they would grab his hair. Unless he cut it as short as Shiro’s, they would use it as a handhold. Which was an argument for cutting his hair, actually. But he didn’t want to do that. He’d be okay with just tying it back. But if the Galra caught him and grabbed it- he needed to be able to think after that.

Fuck. He needed more than that. He needed to be able to think around Galra, period. To fight back. And to that, he needed Thace. A Galra that seemed like he was actually sympathetic to them.

”Laz, do you trust Thace?” he asked quietly.

She didn’t answer for a moment. “Yes,” came the slow, thoughtful response. “He came and got me. Realized... needed to see face not Galra. Cares for you. Cares for us. I trust.”

Keith sighed. That was true.

”Do you?”

The question threw him for a moment, even though it shouldn’t have. “I- oh. I... don’t know. He’s Galra. We- the Paladins of Voltron are fighting against the Galra. I...” Keith shook his head. “Something happened with me and the Galra. I don’t know if I can trust someone that’s part of that.”

”Did you want to?”

Keith’s hands tightened on the blanket. He could remember Thace’s smell and how his lips felt if he concentrated. It had been terrifying to be like that with a Galra again... and exhilarating. Thace had submitted to him. He had let Keith make the first move, and let him guide what happened after.

Thace had let him _take control_. It wasn’t something Zarkon had let him have.

Did he want to trust Thace?

”I don’t think I have a choice,” he whispered. “I need to face what happened to me. And Thace is a Galra that isn’t immediately trying to kill me or- do worse. At least for this, I have to trust Thace. I need to get better.” He heard Laz shift next to him, but she didn’t speak. “I don’t have the luxury of... of getting better the right way. I need to do it now.”

”Will it hurt?”

He laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, probably.”

”Have to, don’t you.”

”Yeah.”

Laz whined a little. “Not easy. Won’t work completely.”

”I know. But I have to at least be able to get in front of a Galra and fight.” This was sounding like he was a Paladin of Voltron again. But he-

He did still pilot Red.

He had a choice. He could still not be the Red Paladin.

But he had to fight. He couldn’t run.

”Be careful.”

”I will.”

  


* * *

  


They didn’t talk about the kiss in the days after.

That was fine by Keith. He didn’t know why he did it. Just... instinct. Damn Red Paladin instinct. Maybe he had never stopped being the Red Paladin, if he was still going off of that.

Instead, Thace just sparred with him. Trained with him. He was a harsh taskmaster, and by the time the sun set each day, Keith was barely standing, panting. But it was good. Thace was pushing him. The more Thace forced him to attack him, the less he saw him as Galra.

It was a weird workaround.

But now Thace was handing him his water bottle, looking fiercely proud, and Keith had to look away as he took the bottle. Zornia’s face had looked nothing like his, but that same look of fierce pride... it hurt. It hurt to remember her.

Tell her story, he reminded himself. Don’t get obsessed about it.

”You’re doing much better already,” Thace rumbled. “By the time I must leave, I will think you’ll be ready.”

Keith just nodded, taking a gulp of water.

After a moment, Thace shifted, awkward. “Keith, I must ask... that is to say... would you enjoy having your supper with me? I’m unable to share anything past the same meats I bring the denizens of this planet, but I would enjoy your company.”

It sounded so much like a date that Keith just stared at him for a moment. Then- “That sounds like you bring supplies to more than just the Inni, Tilri, and Migka.”

That made Thace laugh. “Yes. There are more indigenous people further south, in the desert region. I occasionally bring them supplies as well. Though, I have to be careful as the Tilri have hunted the Psyam in the past. Much like bringing supplies to the Migka is difficult at times, considering the prejudice the Tilri have for them. The masks seem to scare little Tilri children.”

”Huh.”

Thace smiled, his eyes crinkling. “The Tilri are a very xenophobic species. It’s surprising the Inni were able to get along with them so quickly when they arrived on the planet. But I suppose that has to do with how the Inni helped them win their independence.”

”So they’re not from this planet.”

”No. They were most likely running themselves, and entered an alliance with the Tilri to fight back. In return, they would have a place to live. But I haven’t spoken with an Inni about this, so this is pure conjecture.”

Keith considered that, taking another sip of water. “So what are Psyam?”

”Giant rats.”

Keith choked on his next sip of water.

Thace just laughed.

  


* * *

  


”Do they have any ships or anything in case there’s a Galra attack?”

Thace considered the question, putting down his fork and knife. Keith just stabbed his meat, pointedly shoving another bite into his mouth with his fork. He was in the presence of a Galra and he wasn’t using his fingers. He was using tools. Fuck you, Zarkon.

”I believe they do,” he finally said. “I’ve been asked to bring ship supplies before. Assumedly, they have them and are keeping them in good repair.”

”Good.” That was something that made him feel a lot better. If he left, and the Galra attacked, they had a way of fighting back. They didn’t need Red to fight back.

Thace nodded. “Yes. I do ensure that I have ship supplies every time I come. How is your dinner?”

”It’s the only really cooked meat I’ve had in awhile. Laz barely sears hers.”

That made Thace laugh. “I suppose it’s an Inni thing. I _am_ rarely asked for any heating elements.”

Keith laughed as well, taking another bite.

A silence fell between the two of them as they continued eating. It was... strangely comfortable, and when Keith finished, he sat back, looking at Thace. He was nearly done himself, and... and he just looked...

Keith stood, going over to Thace.

”I’m going to kiss you again,” he told him.

That caused a flicker of alarm to cross his face. “Keith, the last time you did that-”

”Keep your hands out of my hair and I think I’ll be fine. You know Zarkon raped me. I’m going to take my body back. I’m going to stop being afraid of that.”

”Ah.” Thace smiled at that. “So I’m the claw to stick in the Emperor’s eye.” He didn’t sound upset about it. In fact, he almost sounded proud.

But... Keith shook his head. It didn’t sound right.

Thace’s smile fell, leaving behind concern. “You don’t have to. It may even be better for you to find one of your own race to reclaim your body.”

”In case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t many humans out here,” he told him. “And I’m not ready to go back to the others.”

Instead of answering, Thace just looked at him. His hands put down his silverware, moving them away from him. Almost like moving weapons away. “This isn’t vital to your recovery,” he told him gently.

”I want to. Damn it, Thace. I want to kiss you, okay?”

”I do too.” Holy shit, was that Thace’s voice? It rumbled and growled, restraining something. “But it’s not the best of ideas.”

Keith groaned. “I don’t care.”

Thace’s eyes flashed, and his hands balled, restraining himself. The words hit a chord inside him, and Keith could see the urge to get up and kiss him, to- to ravish him run through Thace. But he didn’t rise, and eventually Thace’s hands relaxed. “Keith-”

His name was cut off as Keith kissed him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter almost didn't get written today. Thank you stomachache from hell. But I got it done!

Thace had to block quickly as Keith twisted his body, aiming a punch for his head. But the assault didn’t stop, his other arm swinging in only to be hastily blocked. Thace dodged the next blow, grabbing Keith’s arm and throwing him to the ground.

Keith rolled instantly to his feet, backing away slightly as Thace lifted his hands, both of them breathing hard. Before either of them could think, Keith took a step forward, pivoting on the step to kick upward. Thace blocked, but Keith just twisted, leaping slightly for his foot to fall, his other foot coming up to hit Thace solidly in the head. He stumbled back, and Keith moved to drive his elbow into Thace’s face.

Thace caught his arm, and the two of them just stood there for a moment, watching each other, breathing heavily. A smile crossed both of their faces, and Keith’s arm moved to pull Thace forward, meeting him in a sloppy kiss. He could feel his pulse pounding inside of him, and he... _wanted._ It made him feel a little... wild. But he wanted it, damn it. He wanted something that Zarkon would have never given him: utter control.

And Thace gave it to him. As Keith pushed him up against the ship, Thace let himself be manhandled the entire way. He gave up control to Keith, but... he could feel in every way that Thace kept stopping himself, kept lifting his hands then dropping them, kept shifting his hips ever so slightly for friction that Thace was just as into it as he was. He wasn’t just letting Keith do this to him. Thace wanted it too.

God.

Keith never thought he would be taking a Galra’s hand and slapping it down onto his hips, encouraging him to pull Keith closer, but here he was, doing just that. Thace probably never thought he would be in a position like this with a Paladin of Voltron. And here they were.

”Keith...” Thace murmured when they ended the kiss, and Keith swallowed. He sounded _wrecked._ It made Keith groan, pressing his lips to Thace’s furred chin. Thace made a purring noise in the back of his throat, lifting his head to allow Keith access. “Ah...”

Fuck. Keith... _wanted._ But at the same time... no. No, Zarkon wasn’t going to run his life any longer. If he wanted Thace, then he was going to have him if Thace wanted him too. Keith opened his mouth, his hands sliding across Thace’s hips when there was a sound behind them.

”Oh...”

Laz. Keith turned to see her frowning, sitting down. “Late,” she explained. “Worried. Didn’t know you two...” She tilted her head. “Be home soon or not tonight?”

”Soon,” Keith muttered, his face red.

She nodded. “Sorry,” she told the two of them. “Leave you alone now.” Laz stood, a little careful but not as painful as she had been, and left.

Keith could feel Thace laughing silently against him. “It’s not funny,” he muttered, stepping back.

”I would disagree,” he told Keith. “You do realize she did think you might want to spend the night here, correct? And she was not opposing the idea?”

Yeah, he had caught that. “I can’t just leave her alone,” he explained. “Even if we... slept together, I would still have to go back. Make sure she’s okay.”

”You will have to leave her soon enough. When you rejoin the fight, you’ll have to leave her.”

Damn it. Thace was right.

”Perhaps instead of worrying about you leaving her, you should help her not be alone?”

Damn it. “She’s...”

”She’s a warrior. And she’s a very kind Inni. I think there would be many who would enjoy being her friend as much as you have.”

Cáit’s words about Laz wanting a friend came back to him. She had just wanted a friend... and she should have them. The other Inni should be her friends, not him. Yes, Thace was right. He would have to leave eventually. If he wasn’t a Paladin of Voltron, if he didn’t pilot Red, he might be able to stay. But that wasn’t the case. He couldn’t stay.

”Keith.” He looked up at Thace. “Is something the matter?”

”Just thinking.”

”Hm.”

Laz had seen them, and was probably expecting them to still fuck, but... Keith couldn’t get his mind back into the idea that this was Thace, the Galra he probably foolishly trusted. Something about the idea of a Galra touching him like that now just... made his throat close ever so slightly. “I should start heading back.”

”Before you do...” Thace headed back into the ship, and came back with a packet. “These are painkillers. They should help Laz when she’s in pain to the point she cannot move. Please let her know all she needs to do is let me know when they’ve run out and I will find more for her.”

Keith took the packet, nodding. “Yeah. I’ll let her know.”

Thace smiled at him. “Thank you.”

It made Keith smile back, want to kiss him. But as he came close, he felt a pulse of panic run through him as he smelled the musk of sweaty Galra and he backed away quickly. “I- I should go.”

Thace only nodded. “I will see you later, then.”

Keith nodded back, and left. Damn it. He had been so close...

But at the same time, that had been so very stupid. He let go of all common sense and was about to ask Thace to fuck him. Idiot. If Zarkon was anything to go by, he knew Galra were fucking _huge._ Which meant that it would hurt. Which meant that no matter what, he would not have a fun time considering that would probably bring back memories and bring on a flashback. So that would be stupid. He could always fuck Thace, but... he never liked to be on top. Not to mention he didn’t know if he could take watching or hearing someone else being fucked. Not after...

Damn it. Why was he so impulsive sometimes? He should know better.

But at the same time... it was taking his body _back._ Zarkon had made it his. He had forced it to feel arousal when _he_ wanted to, and forced him to give up consent. This way, Keith wasn’t aroused because Thace wanted it. He was turned on because _Keith_ wanted it. And Thace was the one to consent to it, not Keith. And Thace wasn’t forced to it, as Keith could feel Thace trying so hard not to force himself on Keith.

And he wanted Thace.

It was pretty simple there, at least.

When he came back, Laz was laying down. She lifted her head in confusion. “Keith, too soon,” she scolded. “Go back. Have fun.”

He laughed a little. “Laz...” Keith hesitated, then sat down in front of her. “Laz, Thace and I are-”

She tilted her head. “Not lovers,” she said with certainty. “But enjoy each other.”

Well, he couldn’t argue with that. “Yes, but-”

Laz sighed. “Keith. He likes you,” she said carefully. “You... need to have... someone like that. At least for a day. He won’t... be here forever.”

That was true.

”You won’t be here forever.” She closed her eyes, laying her head down. “That... is how it is. Take time you have. Have fun while you can.” She opened one eye, smiling at him. “Okay?”

Keith smiled back. “Okay.” Then he remembered. “Oh! Thace had these painkillers for you.”

”Hm?” She lifted her head again as Keith pulled out the package. “Don’t like painkillers,” she grumbled. “Head fuzzy.”

He could get behind that. He wouldn’t like painkillers either if he was a war vet and knew he might be needed at any moment. “Yeah. I understand.”

Laz smiled at him, lowering her head again. Keith just smiled back, reaching out to rub her ears. “You’re leaving soon,” she said, almost drowsily.

”Yeah.” He hadn’t realized until she said it, but he had to. Probably right after Thace left, he would have to as well. He had been there too long.

”Good. Go fight.”

He would... have to fight.

But as a Paladin?

Keith looked down at Laz, still rubbing her ears.

He didn’t know. Not yet.

  


* * *

  


Thace was packing up, getting ready to leave when Keith came by the next day. “Oh. Keith. I must depart. It’s been too long since-”

Keith cut him off with a kiss. He wasn’t going to let Thace go without...

He wasn’t going to let this chance go.

The thought stayed with him the entire time as the two of them eventually made their way to Thace’s bed, and never left as Keith’s back lowered onto the bed, his legs parting.

He wasn’t going to let this go.


	16. Chapter 16

Blankets were an extra protection against the world. Between him and Zarkon, between him and- Keith swallowed, feeling it scrape against his raw throat. He could feel Thace settle next to him, and the sound of a water bottle cracking open filling the air. “Would you like some more water?” he heard Thace say as if from far away.

Damn it. He thought he had been ready, he- hadn’t really thought much at all, really. Just gone with it, wanted to have something good with Thace before he left. Thace had been three fingers in, making Keith gasp, being oh so gentle... when the memory of Zarkon shoving fingers into him, barely stretching him came to the fore.

Keith closed his eyes. Damn it.

He had just wanted something nice out of it. Something good. And instead he got this. The inability to enjoy even sex with someone trying to be gentle, trying to let him take control of the entire thing.

Keith held his hand out, taking the water bottle. He didn’t want the water, but the feeling of something in his hand was comforting. The weight grounded him. It was something not there, not Zarkon. The feeling of water against his lips was the here and now. He sighed once lowering the bottle, shaking his head. “Heh.” Keith opened one eye, looking at Thace. “Should have guessed that would happen.”

”It’s not your fault,” he told him, one hand coming up as if to comfort him. Then Thace paused, and lowered his hand again. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated, looking at him as Keith opened both eyes. “Never consider this your fault.”

That made Keith laugh bitterly. “Yeah. Except me being an impulse asshole that should have known it was too soon to have sex.”

”You will never know if you’re ready until you do it. Never apologize for trying.”

”Not exactly apologizing here.”

Thace tilted his head. “True.”

Keith sighed, taking another sip of water. It felt good on his sore throat. “Though I guess I should say sorry for almost puking on you.”

”But you didn’t.”

”True.” He had managed to puke over the side of the bed instead. “Thanks for cleaning it up.”

Thace shrugged. “It is my ship.”

Keith smiled a little at that, though it fell away quickly. He sighed, taking another sip. The idea of wanting something before Thace left, and he had pushed himself to have it before he was ready. Sounded like him. “You should probably get going, then. You said you were leaving before I decided to jump your bones.”

”Ah.” Thace sat back a bit. “That is true. Are you feeling better?”

”No,” he answered honestly. “But you still probably should get going. Your superiors are probably wondering where you are. And...” Keith sighed. “I need to figure out for sure if I’m going back to the other or not.”

”Keith, I told you-”

”I know what you told me,” he snapped. “Thace, I literally told myself I couldn’t be the Red Paladin while I was Zarkon’s pet. I gave up the right. So I’m fighting against that, the idea that I can’t ever be the Red Paladin again because I purposely gave in to be a pet. Because I _stopped fighting._ I have to tell myself I have the right to pilot Red.”

”Keith.” Thace’s voice was firm. “Your instinct was to survive no matter what, correct?” At Keith’s nod, he continued. “Then you survived. And you now can fight another day. You can fight back. Do so. Take your rightful place as the Red Paladin.”

His rightful place. He had known that the instant he had seen Blue, the instant they had the vision about Voltron, the instant Allura told him about the Red Lion, the... the instant he even set eyes on Red. He was a Paladin of Voltron.

Keith lifted his chin, staring at Thace. He was a Paladin of Voltron.

Thace smiled. “I have a device to give you. It has information for your Princess of various ships, their capabilities, as well as recent experiments the druids have been working on.” He went over to a drawer, and pulled out what appeared to be an intricate crystalline pendant. It should have been fragile, but the more Keith looked at it, the less fragile it seemed. “She should know what to do with this,” he told him, placing it in front of him. “Please, give this to your Princess when you arrive.”

He looked at the pendant, then slowly took it. “Of course.”

Thace nodded. “I’ll leave you to dress. Would you like company back to your Inni’s home?”

Keith shook his head. “I’d rather have some time alone.”

”Of course. Keith- I hope to see you soon.”

He smiled a little. “Maybe we will.”

  


* * *

  


Laz helped Keith shove the last of the supplies into place in his Lion. “Done,” she said, satisfied.

It was the first time he had seen Red ready like this. Laz had helped him pack Red full of dried meats and water. Keith nodded, reaching down to stroke her ears. “Thank you,” he told her. “I’m going to miss you.”

”I too.” She tilted her head, looking up at him. “Didn’t have friend like you before. But you’re Paladin, Keith. You fight.”

That was true. He fought. But he was going to be so alone until Red took him back to the rest... He was really going to miss Laz, a lot. And Laz was going to be so alone without him. She only had Cáit as another friend, which pissed him off in more ways than one. He had never seen Cáit again once they arrived on the planet and that was fine by him. She had probably spent time with the resistance any time she arrived back, doing her part with information running. As long as he never saw her face again, he would be just fine.

But Laz didn’t have any friends other than him and Cáit. She would be alone.

Keith closed his eyes.

”Hey Laz. Ever seen space?”

He opened his eyes as Laz tilted her head, confused. “Yes. Why?”

”Just... thinking.”

She looked up at the sky. “Space was nice. Big. Had to fight sometimes. Being here is good, being up there better.”

”Would you like to come with me?”

”Hm?” Laz frowned. “Keith. Paladin. You fight. I’m not Paladin.”

”Allura and Coran aren’t Paladins either. I just- think you’d like it.”

Laz still frowned. “I’m hurt. Not good. In fight, I could be liability.”

”I don’t think so. If you don’t want to come, just tell me and I’ll stop asking. I’ll just go.”

Laz’s eyes grew wide. “No. I want to! I think... you may regret.”

Keith smiled a little, shaking his head. “I think I’d regret leaving you here alone more.”

She ducked her head. “Oh.” Laz shook her, then looked up at him. “Have room?”

”I have room for five people,” he told her, trying not to chuckle at the memory of everyone piling into Blue. “Do you need me to get anything for you?”

”Pillow? Or blankets? Something to rest on.”

”Yeah, of course.”

Laz smiled at him, and he smiled back, his chest lightening. This would... be so much better. He wasn’t leaving Laz alone, ever. And... he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. Ever.

”Let’s go find the others,” he told her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite the new year here, but it is most everywhere else, so Happy New Year!

He could feel Red’s worry in the back of his head. And he didn’t blame her; Laz had been shifting around a lot trying to get comfortable. They had been flying for awhile, at least a full day, and they hadn’t stopped once. She had to be getting stiff and sore. They had enough supplies to keep going, but at the next planet they needed to stop and move around. Maybe not go into any towns or see any locals, but just walk. Stretch their legs.

”Hey Laz.” She lifted her head, making a questioning noise. “We’re going to stop at the next planet, okay?”

”Wrong?”

”No, no. I just know I need to stretch my legs, take a walk. And I should probably work out a little too.”

”Spar,” Laz said decisively. “Too out of shape. I need to spar too.”

”You sure?” He turned, looking back at her. “It’s not going to hurt you?”

”Need to. Feel better. Haven’t sparred in too long.”

Keith nodded, turning back to the controls. It would probably do her some good to spar, as long as he didn’t push her too hard at first. She had been alone for who knew how long, and he didn’t want to hurt her. He’s keep it simple, and adjust as he saw just how she was doing.

Laz shifted, and he could hear a soft whimper come from her. “Hey. You need me to do anything for you?”

There was a moment of silence, then a sigh. “Rub?”

Keith unclipped his harness, coming over to her. Laz was laying on her side, looking annoyed. She felt around her leg and hip, indicating where she wanted him to massage. He nodded, lightly feeling the muscles. They were pretty knotted... and he had no experience with massage. Biting his lip, Keith started to rub gently, trying not to hurt her. By the way she groaned, closing her eyes, he was pretty certain he wasn’t doing that.

He just wished he knew Inni anatomy better. If he did, and he knew at least a little about massage, he could actually help her instead of just randomly pressing in spots and hoping it helped. He could actually be hurting her right now and he’d never know. But she seemed to be relaxing a bit, and Keith sighed, relieved. Slowly, he increased the pressure until he heard her made a pained noise, lightening up slightly from that.

It suddenly struck him this was the most relaxed he had seen Laz in the entire time he’d known her. His hands slowed, just gently rubbing across her fur now. She sighed, lazily opening her eyes. “Mm. Thank.”

”You’re welcome.” He rubbed her ears and stood, going back to his chair. Now he kind of wished he had asked Thace about Inni anatomy. At least that way he could know where to rub to help her the most. But what he did helped her, so that was good.

He still wanted to get her out of Red for a little bit and have her walk around. That would help the most. And he really did want to get out and stretch his legs. He wasn’t meant to stay still for long periods of time. He needed to get out. Walk. Run. Spar with Laz.

It’d be fun.

  


* * *

  


Okay. So.

Laz?

Was _vicious._

It was a good thing he had left his bayard in Red, because how savage she fought made him reach for it constantly. He know knew why Thace had been relieved that she had known him when they had first talked. Keith dodged a snap of her teeth, his heart pounding. He didn’t want to hurt her, but-

But he would need to hurt her.

At least land a blow on her.

And when he saw his opening, as she overextended herself, claws out in a swipe, he dodged, tripping her easily. Laz rolled quickly to her feet, but it let him get on the offensive, sweeping a kick to her shoulder. She yelped, dancing out of range, favoring other leg.

But that didn’t last long, as she came right back, going for his throat.

And that was when he realized maybe Laz wasn’t quite with him at the moment, as her teeth would have snapped onto his throat as she bore him to the ground, if it wasn’t for the arm he jammed up under her chin. “Laz. Laz!”

She growled, snapping at him.

”Laz! It’s me, Keith!”

Slowly, her upper lip started to come down, her features smoothing a little. But not quite seeing him. Was this how he looked when he was having a flashback?

”Laz. It’s okay. You’re with me. You’re with Keith. It’s okay.”

Damn it. He knew she was a war vet. He should have guessed something like this would have happened. Keith just continued to look up at her, speaking softly, trying to get through to her. Slowly, her ears relaxed and she closed her eyes, the growl stopping. Laz crawled off of him, keeping low to the ground as Keith sat up, watching her.

”Sorry.”

Keith shook his head. “Laz, I- I’m not going to say anything about that. I mean, you’ve seen me-”

”Nearly killed you.” Her voice was quiet as she looked down. “Would have.”

”Laz. You’re... you wouldn’t have killed me.” Keith crossed his legs, shaking his head. “It’s like how it is with Shiro. You wouldn’t have seriously hurt or killed me while you were like that. I know you wouldn’t.”

”Shiro... Paladin?”

”Yeah.” Keith snorted, shaking his head. “He’s... had about as much fun as I have with the Galra and has a lot of the same kind of things I do. Nightmares, that kind of thing. But the rest of us trust him. We know he wouldn’t ever hurt or kill us. And I know you won’t hurt or kill me.”

Laz closed her eyes, lowering her head onto the ground. “Paladins like me?” she finally asked, looking up at him.

Keith nodded. “Shiro is. The Galra took his arm, and he’s covered in scars. But I know he won’t hurt any of us.” He looked at her. “Like you won’t hurt me.”

Laz closed her eyes again. “No more today,” she whispered.

”Laz...”

”No more today. Later, maybe. Need to rest.” Laz stood, unsteady. “Want to... want to fight later. Want to learn like Shiro not to hurt. Not today. Hurt. Rest.”

Keith nodded, standing as well. “Let me wash up and we’ll get going.”

Laz nodded and Keith went to get the waterless cleaning supplies he had found on Red after they left the village. It was nice to have, now that he realized that not all water was useable. Which he should have known, considering even water on Earth could have flesh eating bacteria in it. Not the same as washing up with water, but it at least made it feel clean and not stink. Bonus, he could use it on his clothes to make them cleaner and not stink as well.

That did a lot to make him feel better as Red took them back to the Castle. Which... he didn’t know how long it was going to take. Red didn’t tell them. But... she knew where to go. All Keith had to do was stay alert for any Galra ships. Red would take them to the Castle, back to everyone.

For a moment, Keith’s mind slipped to Thace, trying to imagine how he would look in the middle of the ballroom Keith had sat in with Zarkon, face impassive as he listened, plotted to take Zarkon down... and he felt the urge to see Thace just one more time. He wanted to have a better memory of his last time with Thace than failing to have sex with him.

Maybe he could ask Red to find him before they made their way back to the Castle. Meet up somewhere.

Keith shook his head.

Yeah right.

He finished up, putting the supplies away and got back into the pilot’s seat, Laz already laying down in her pile of blankets. “Ready?”

”Ready.”

Keith nodded, and Red lifted off, aiming towards the Castle of the Lions again.


	18. Chapter 18

They made it a point to stop as often as possible now. At first, Laz grumbled, but he could see her enjoying it. Keith even started incorporating a quick jog if an immediate scan showed no predators. In time, even though she was still limping, he could see her moving much more freely, and it made him feel better.

Sparring, though... that was a little more difficult.

After the first time, Laz held back. Keith could feel it with every swipe of her claws, every lunge. She was afraid. And she couldn’t be. She couldn’t be afraid she would lose the sense of who was friend and foe and just start attacking everyone. It made him wish he was already at the Castle, so she could meet Shiro. He had a feeling he would have a lot to teach her.

Keith sighed, sitting back in his chair as the thoughts beat on his head. He really didn’t know what to do. His idea of fight until it works just... wasn’t working. And he wasn’t Thace. He didn’t have the right things to say to her to make her not be afraid. Maybe if he could find Thace, he’d have something to say to her. Something that’d make her perk up and fight.

But every time he looked, every time he asked Red to see if she could find Thace, nothing came back.

Maybe Thace was pretending to be the good soldier. Maybe Thace was off on a mission. Maybe... there were a thousand maybes. The one thing he knew for sure was he couldn’t get in contact with him. And he really wanted to.

Keith rubbed his eyes, yawning. Hopefully he’d find Thace later. He just... needed to see him.

Behind him, he could hear Laz lifting her head. “Tired?”

”A little.”

”Come sleep.”

Keith smiled a little. “In a bit. I just need to set up a few things.”

”Okay.”

Keith’s fingers ran over Red’s controls, setting up alarms. One for a general proximity, one for time, one for Galra... and one for incoming calls. Just in case. When he was done, he got up and went over to Laz, resting his head on her side. Laz shifted under him, getting comfortable. The two of them closed their eyes, and Keith could hear Laz breathing under him, a steady comforting sound. She was here, with him. And Keith could tell she was starting to be who she used to be before she had been hurt. Before her lover had been killed.

He wished he had known her lover before she had been killed. Anyone Laz loved had to be a good person.

Keith ran a hand over her fur, relaxing further. Just sleep. If either of them woke up again from nightmares, the other would calm them down. They had done it before, and would do it again. Always.

And with that thought, Keith slipped off into sleep.

  


* * *

  


”Don’t like water.”

Keith sighed. “You stink, Laz. You need to get clean.”

”Have other ways to clean. Use those.”

”We tried. You didn’t like the smell of it.”

”Don’t like water,” Laz repeated, stubborn.

”You’re not getting back into Red without taking a bath.”

Laz grumbled. “Dry off?”

”Yeah, I’ll dry you off.”

She sighed. “Fine. Bath.”

Keith just managed to keep from making a relieved noise. Laz was good about licking herself to keep clean, but that didn’t change the fact she was starting to take on that very strong dog smell. According to Red, the stream nearby was safe, and there was something planted there they could use as soap. And honestly, Keith would like to take a bath himself. Waterless bathing was not the same. He gathered up the cloth left on Red all that time ago to dry himself and Laz off and set out.

When they got there, Laz looked at the water with distrust. Which really made sense, considering the last time she had seen water in the wild. She couldn’t trust it wasn’t radioactive. But Red had said it was okay... Keith undressed himself, feeling awkward doing so. Laz wasn’t his type, both being dog shaped and female, and Laz showed no interest in him. But it was still uncomfortable being naked in front of something intelligent.

Enough of that. He wanted his bath. Keith waded into the water, making a surprised noise. “Come on in, Laz,” he called. “The water’s actually pretty warm.”

”Don’t like water.”

”I think you’ll like this water.”

She grumbled, and carefully stepped in. “Not cold,” she said in surprise.

Keith waved her in. “It should be good on your muscles. Come on in.”

Laz came in closer, the water slowly rising to her neck before she stopped, uncomfortable. “Okay. In water.”

Keith chuckled, coming over to rub his hands through her fur. “Let me find the soap.” Where was that thing Red had shown them... there. He had to dig a bit to get at the bulb root, but he could feel the weird texture when he did. Not quite like soap, and when he rubbed at it it didn’t make suds like soap. But Red said it would make them clean, and was safe for both of them... “Come on back to shore and I’ll scrub you down.”

Laz quickly came back to shore, scrambling up onto the dirt. Keith scrubbed the bulb into her fur, watching as it turned glossy. It was so weird how it didn’t make suds, even when he dug his fingers in and really worked in it. And he made a little extra sure to pay attention to her bad leg, massaging the muscle. “Okay, go rinse off. I’ll be right in.”

With a grumble, she went back in as Keith rubbed the bulb over his own skin. It felt strange, but there wasn’t an adverse reaction. Red was right, at least. He went back into the water, motioning Laz over to him so he could get all the soap out of her fur. When he was done, she scrambled for the shore without him prompting, shaking the water out of her fur. Keith shook his head, making sure all the soap was off his body before following her up.

Drying off didn’t take long. The fabric absorbed water pretty well. Laz was almost dry by the time they were done and Keith was dressed. “Ready to go back?”

”Yes,” came the heartfelt response, and Laz ran back before Keith could say anything else.

Keith laughed to himself, shaking his head as he followed. It was good they had found this planet. He had needed that. And as he looked over at Laz, seeing her sitting down in Red with less pain than before they had landed, she had needed the warm water and the quick massage.

”Ready?”

”Ready.”

And they lifted off, aimed towards the Castle of Lions yet again.

  


* * *

  


Keith woke up with a start, making Laz grumble as he rushed towards the controls.

He could have sworn he heard an alert going off. The one for incoming calls. He could have sworn...

But there was nothing. Not even a notice that he had missed anything.

Something didn’t feel right. Something wasn’t right at all. “Red,” he whispered. “I need- I need to talk to-” He didn’t know who. Allura, Shiro, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Thace-

Red purred in his head, trying to calm him down. But he couldn’t calm. Something was wrong. He needed to talk to someone, figure it out. Someone was in danger. That was it. Someone was-

”Whoever’s closest,” he told Red. “I need to talk to them.” He could feel Red shaking her head, but he set his jaw. “If you can contact them, I need to talk to them.”

But she couldn’t. He should have known if there was someone out there, they were too far away to be contacted. And if it was Thace, it was a bad idea to contact him now.

”Keith?” He heard Laz get up and come over to him. “Wrong?”

He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

Hopefully he was wrong. But his instincts... told him he needed to warn someone now.

But he couldn’t.

Laz took the sleeve of his jacket in her jaws, pulling him back towards the blankets. Keith let her drag him back, and settled back against her. There was nothing he could do. Whatever was going to happen, he couldn’t do anything about it.

Damn it.

He didn’t sleep at all until the alarm for them to wake up went off.

  


* * *

  


Laz couldn’t do more than stretch this time. Today was a bad day. But she tried. She came out of Red and stretched. She tried to run. When Keith saw her limping too badly, unable to even try to keep up, he sent her back. He’d massage her leg when he got back.

Her good days outweighed her bad ones now. She was moving more freely now, which was good. And he could see her spirits lifting with each planet, knowing she’d see a different place. Laz still didn’t like water when she had to be bathed, but he still made her have regular baths. No dog smells in Red.

Suddenly, a bad feeling seized him. Laz. He turned, running back for Red. She could fight, and she was vicious. If things got really bad, Red should fight for her. She knew what Laz meant to him. He had to get back-

When he get back, nothing was wrong. Laz was okay, laying down just inside of Red. But her head instantly came up as he stopped, her face worried. “Call,” she said, frowning. “Couldn’t- answer. But call.”

A call. Someone was trying to contact them. One of the Paladins? Allura or Coran? Or- Keith rushed in, seeing someone had left a message. His fingers moved quickly, pulling it up.

Thace. Oh God.

He looked... worried. “Keith. I have been able to find you, which means the Galra can too. My superiors have become suspicious of my activities. I am currently in hiding, but my location has been compromised. Run straight for your comrades and do not worry for me. Do not stop at any more planets.” There was the sound of something slamming into a door, and Thace lifted his head, his eyes narrowing. “Run, Keith,” he instructed. “Live. Survive. And fight back once you have the means to do so.” Here, his eyes softened, and his hand came forward as if he wanted to touch Keith. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, and the message cut off just as the door broke down.

Keith’s breath caught as he checked the time on the message. Five minutes ago, and the planet was thirty minutes away. If he went now, he could make it-

”Keith.” Laz came up beside him. “Don’t.”

”Shut up, Laz,” he snapped at her. “I need to-”

She growled, and he was pinned against his seat before he could blink. “No!” she barked at him. “No. You will be caught. We need others. We get others. He-” She shook his head. “He...”

”He’s going to die!” Keith growled at her.

”Already dead! He died right after this!”

The words slammed into him. She... she was right. The Galra wouldn’t leave him alive. Thace would probably take as many as he could with him, but he was a traitor. He saw what Zarkon did to traitors. He could hope they would take him to Zarkon to be publicly executed, but... the more likely explanation was they had killed him right then and there.

Damn it. And Thace knew it. He most likely knew he was probably going to die when he became part of the resistance. He couldn’t have thought he was going to get away with being the Galra point of contact in a war like this.

And with his last moments, he tried to save Keith’s life.

”We need to go,” Keith told her. “We can’t stop anymore.”

Laz slowly let him go, falling back onto all fours. She went to lay down, and he could hear her breathing raggedly. Damn it. He knew how she felt, but they had to go. They had to-

”Take us to the others, Red,” he whispered. “Don’t stop.”

He could hear Red purr in his head, trying to comfort him as she took off, going full speed towards a point in space only she knew about.

Away from Thace’s last stand.

Keith didn’t know when the tears started or when Laz came over to rest her head in his lap, tears also streaking down her face.


	19. Chapter 19

Laz didn’t rest behind him anymore. She sat by his side, watching space rush past them. It had to hurt her, but she sat there, watching quietly.

Keith didn’t say anything. He knew how she felt. Occasionally Red would throw up a warning: there were Galra close by. But they didn’t seem to be looking for them, and they would slip by. It helped a little bit that Red would put on a little more speed, making sure to get out of range of their sensors as soon as she could. They couldn’t afford to be caught. Not yet. They needed Voltron.

He dropped one hand to her head, lightly stroking one ear. She just stood there, watching, yawning occasionally. They were both getting tired, but they couldn’t afford to tear themselves away. If Galra came-

Red purred in his head. If the Galra came, she’d warn them. They could rest.

But if he did, Thace and Zornia’s memories-

Keith shook his head. They had made their decisions, and chose their deaths. They didn’t let anyone else choose it. Both of them lived stronger than any other Galra could even fathom. He’d bring their story right to Zarkon’s feet and shove it and his bayard down his throat. It would be the best way to tell it.

”Red will let us know if we’re about to get ambushed,” he told Laz quietly. “We can sleep for a little bit.”

Laz didn’t answer, just staring at the displays.

”Hey. Laz.”

She blinked slowly, looking up at him. “Hm?”

”Are you tired?”

Laz blinked again, yawning. “Tired. Yes. Didn’t realize.”

She had been so... quiet. What had she been thinking? Had she even realized he was there? The two of them went to the back of Red, laying down. Keith ran a hand over her fur, and her flank jumped, almost as if she was surprised. “Hey. You okay?”

”... lost. A lot like that. Too many memories of that.” She took a deep breath, her side moving under him. “We fought. We lost many. We won... we won.” Laz went quiet, and Keith sat up slightly, looking at her face. She had her eyes tightly closed, pain crossing her face. “We won,” she repeated. “And you win. Even if... you lose.”

Keith laid back down, stroking her fur. He didn’t realize how many she had lost in her fights... and that it might have been more than just her lover. She would have lost comrades. Friends. Maybe even family.

He needed to make sure she was never alone again.

  


* * *

  


”Stretch out your leg as far as you can.”

Laz grunted, and winced as she stretched her bad leg. Keith watched, then nodded. “You should lay down more, Laz,” he chided her. “Sitting next to me all the time isn’t helping you.”

”Want to see what’s going on,” she grumbled as she retracted her leg. Keith settled in next to her, and she sighed as he ran his fingers over her leg. “Want to see when we get there.”

”You’ll see,” he promised, kneading her leg. “But you can’t hurt yourself doing it.” It felt... uncomfortable to have her next to him at all times, knowing it was hurting her. Far too uncomfortable. “Rest.”

Laz just sighed, the sound relieved as her muscles relaxed. Silence filled the cockpit as he massaged her leg, feeling out all the familiar knots and tension. Finally, he finished, patting her thigh and standing up. “Thank,” she muttered sleepily, opening one eye.

”Just get some rest.” Keith went back to the chair, sighing. They had to be closing in on the others. It had been... probably a week since they started out. They had to be getting close.

And then- how would they take it when he came back? He had just up and left. And now he was back, ready to be a Paladin of Voltron again, and he had an alien with him. How suspicious was that going to look? Keith looked back at Laz, seeing her shift a little, getting a little more comfortable. They couldn’t hate her. She had fought back against the Galra, and she had the scars, from physical to mental to emotional to prove it. They couldn’t hate someone that fought back against the Galra.

But for Keith himself...

They couldn’t take Red from them. She had chosen Keith as her Paladin. And he had accepted it. No matter what, he was the Red Paladin. But how would they treat him? Would he be-

Keith shook his head. It didn’t matter. He was going back. That was all.

Then-

He could see an alert on his display.

The Yellow Lion was hailing him.

Hunk.

Keith’s hand shook as he reached out. They were close. Close enough that the others could contact them. He could answer now, and talk to them. And it was Hunk calling first. When he had first been rescued, Hunk had been the one to make him say aloud that he had been raped. His kindness had made him say it aloud, and believe it. Answering Hunk’s call would be the best option. If he didn’t, the others would start calling, and he didn’t know if he could get through a call with Pidge... or Lance... or Shiro.

Or Allura might even call.

But...

Keith pulled his hand back.

”Hm?” He could hear Laz get up behind him. “Keith?”

”We’re close,” he told her quietly as he saw Blue and Green hail him.

She sat down next to him. “Answer?” she asked, equally quiet.

He saw Black hailing now, and...

Keith shook his head.

Laz just butted his shoulder with her head, looking at the displays.

They just continued to fly like that, watching the Castle of Lions come into view. The hangar doors were open, and Keith could see the others resting within as the came in close. They must have just come back. Wouldn’t they have intercepted him at some point- unless they thought Red was flying herself back to the Castle? He hadn’t answered... it was possible they thought she was unmanned. Or that he was in there... hurt. Too hurt to get to the controls.

Keith landed, the hangar door closing, and took a deep breath. It was time. “Ready, Laz?”

She stood, painfully. Keith stood as well, and Red’s head lowered, her mouth opening and the ramp extending.

Everyone was standing there, waiting. Keith’s gaze swept over everyone’s faces, taking in the surprise as he walked out, Laz limping behind him. He kept his head up as he reached the end of the ramp, Laz sitting down next to him as he stopped.

No one said anything. They just looked at him, taking him in. After a bit, Shiro took a step forward, opening his mouth to say something.

”So is anyone going to say anything about how Keith has a space dog?”

”Lance!”

Laz looked up at Keith, whining in confusion as he started laughing. He had kind of missed that. “Her name’s Laz,” he told them. “Laz?”

”What Lance?” she asked, confused.

Keith laughed more as he saw Lance pouting. “The tall annoying one.”

”Hey!”

”Oh.” Laz’s voice was full of understanding.

”Keith.” He raised his head at Allura’s voice. She was standing at the door in her flight suit, her hair piled on top of her head. And... she did not look happy. Allura looked like she was ready for a fight.

”Allura.”

”Are you here to return the Red Lion?”

”No.” He met her eyes, steady. “I’m here to be the Red Paladin.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You are aware you stole the Red Lion. Left us when we needed the Red Paladin.”

”Red wouldn’t let anyone steal her, and you know that. And you also know I wouldn’t be the Red Paladin at that time.” He felt Laz stand and come closer to him, her body tense. “It was too soon. It’s not now. I’m ready to be the Red Paladin again.”

Allura tilted her head, her eyes still narrowed.

Keith pulled out the pendant, holding it out. “I have- had a contact while I was out there. He said you’d know what to do with this.”

Her eyes widened at the sight. “That’s-” Allura looked at the pendant, then up at him. “Do you know what is on it?”

”Information. Something that might turn the tides in our favor.” He walked over to her, and held the pendant out to her. “Here. It’s yours.”

Allura took it carefully, blinking. “Keith...” She stared up at him, then shook her head. For a moment, she looked down at the pendant. “You say there is information on this, correct?”

”Yeah. My contact... I think he died to get me that.” It hurt to say Thace might have died aloud. But it was true. The most likely outcome was he was dead. “Last thing he told me was to run and get it to you, because the Galra could find me.”

”Have we thought that maybe the Galra could track the pendant?” Pidge pointed out.

Allura shook her head. “I do doubt it. Illyias pendants only hold data, and the data cannot be copied, transferred, or deleted once the pendant is sealed. They are quite hard to find, and even harder to manufacture. Whoever gave this to you- who was it?”

Keith shook his head. “He was someone that helped me out there. That’s all I can say.”

He heard the click of Laz’s claws, and she limped up next to him, sitting down. Allura looked over at her, shaking her head. “An illyias pendant and an Inni... and the return of our Red Paladin. Keith, what have you gotten yourself into out there?”

”More importantly, can I pet the space dog?”

Keith looked down at Laz. “Can Lance pet you?”

She tilted her head, thinking. “Yes,” she said finally, going over to him.

”Oh my God, she’s so soft. Guys, come pet her.”

”Oh my God, Lance is right. She is soft.” Pidge’s voice was filled with disbelief.

”Right? Come on, Shiro, come pet the space dog.”

Keith just chuckled, turning away from them. “I’ll tell you later,” he told Allura. “Right now, Laz and I need to rest. We’ve been sleeping in Red for the last few days, and that’s not good for her leg.”

Allura squinted at him. Then sighed, nodding. “Of course. I will set up a room for... Laz.”

”No, some pillows and blankets in my room for her.” He looked over at her. “I don’t think... I want her to sleep alone if I can help it.”

”Keith, what happened out there?”

”I’ll tell you later,” he promised. “I’ll tell everyone later.” He just... needed to rest first.

Laz looked over at him, looking a little uncomfortable. Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were lavishing attention on her, and she definitely wasn’t used to that. “Hey.” Keith came over, glaring at them. “Give Laz some space. Laz, I’m going to my room to rest. Do you want to come with me?”

”Yes,” she said promptly. “Where room?”

He could see the others frowning at her sentence structure, and knew they were wondering if their translators were going out on them. “Follow me,” he told her. “I’ll get you something to lay on.”

She nodded, following him as they left. The click of her claws and the halls of the Castle... they were both familiar in different ways, strange ways. But it all felt right as he came to his room, his shoulders relaxing at the sight. “Home sweet home,” he whispered.

Laz sat down next to him. “Home,” she echoed.

Home. Keith closed his eyes.

They were finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... did not expect even half the response I got to the Keith/Thace. I don't even think I expected the response I got to this fic, period. Thank you all so much for your support. I just... wow. Thank you so much.
> 
> I'm working on a Lance side-story to this series regarding his past, and a possible sequel to this. Because it appears the story isn't quite over yet...
> 
> Again, thank you all so much. I love you all.


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